In our quest for social acceptance and approval, it’s only natural to want to be liked by others. After all, we are inherently social beings, and the opinions of those around us can impact our mood and emotions. While it’s essential to prioritize self-acceptance, it’s also crucial to be mindful of behaviors that may inadvertently drive people away. In this blog post, we’ll explore six behaviors that can make people dislike you and the psychology behind them.
1. Sharing Too Many Photos on Social Media
My friend often shares 10+ social media posts a day detailing every aspect of her life. As much as I care about her, it’s hard to connect when her online presence dominates our relationship.
In today’s digital age, sharing moments of our lives on social media has become second nature. However, a study by David Hutton suggests that there’s a tipping point when it comes to sharing photos. Excessive posting can hinder real-life relationships because people may struggle to relate to you if your online presence overshadows your offline interactions.
To maintain healthy interpersonal relationships, it’s essential to consider how your posts are perceived by your audience. Mindfulness about the content and frequency of your shares can go a long way in preserving those cherished connections.
2. Humblebragging: The Art of False Modesty
My coworker frequently mentions how busy he is with important projects in a faux humble way during meetings. It comes across as arrogant even though he’s pretending to be modest.
We’ve all encountered individuals who skillfully weave their accomplishments into conversations while feigning modesty. This behavior, known as humblebragging, tends to be unattractive. According to a study from Harvard Business School, honesty and straightforwardness are more likable qualities.
Rather than resorting to humblebragging, strive to be transparent about your achievements and experiences. Authenticity fosters genuine connections and garners more positive responses from others.
3. Not Smiling: The Power of a Smile
I noticed my neighbor rarely smiled even when I greeted him. His somber demeanor didn’t make me want to chat though a simple smile could have attracted more conversation.
A smile can be a powerful tool in making yourself more likable. Research conducted by the University of Wyoming suggests that a smile can be even more influential than having an open body position. When people see you smile, it triggers positive emotions and naturally attracts them to you.
If you tend to be reserved or find it challenging to smile, make an effort to do so, especially when meeting new people. Your smile can be your secret weapon in forging new connections.
4. Constantly Criticizing People’s Choices
My sister-in-law consistently questions my parenting decisions in a judgmental tone. Her criticism makes me dislike spending time with her even though we’re family.
Critiquing and questioning others’ decisions can be detrimental to your likability. A study published in the Journal of Consumer Psychology reveals that criticism of personal choices can lead to disliking the critic. People often build relationships based on the similarities and differences they perceive in others, especially concerning ethics and morals.
Instead of passing judgment, engage in open and respectful conversations about differences in opinions. Seek to understand their perspectives rather than imposing your views, thereby fostering more meaningful connections.
5. Suppressing or Faking Your Emotions
One of my friends tends to hide her real feelings and reactions. Her lack of authenticity makes it hard to connect on a deeper level.
Hiding or faking your emotions can make you appear less agreeable and more insecure about relationships. A study by the University of Oregon highlights that authenticity is crucial in forming connections. People seek those who reciprocate their investments, and detecting hidden emotions may be interpreted as disinterest.
Embrace your genuine emotions and express them openly, even if it means disagreeing with others. Authenticity is the foundation of trust and genuine relationships.
6. Writing a Formal Email with a Smiling Emoticon
A coworker included smiling emojis in an email update to our supervisor. While well-intentioned, it came across as unprofessional given the formal context.
In the era of digital communication, using emojis has become common, but research suggests it might not always be appropriate. Adding a smiling emoticon to formal emails can convey a lack of competence, according to a 2017 study. Being perceived as less competent can lead to people disliking you, especially in professional settings.
To avoid this pitfall, maintain a clear separation between your formal and casual communication. Keep in mind that using smiling emojis may not enhance your professional image and, in fact, may hinder it.
Being likable is a desire we all share, but it’s important to be aware of behaviors that can hinder rather than facilitate positive connections. From over-sharing on social media to humblebragging and suppressing emotions, these behaviors can inadvertently make people dislike you. Instead, focus on authenticity, empathy, and open-mindedness to foster meaningful relationships. Remember, the journey to becoming more likable begins with self-awareness and a genuine desire to connect with others.
Did you find this article insightful? What other behaviors do you think might make others dislike you? Share your thoughts in the comments below. If you found this post helpful, please clap and share it with others who might benefit.
