A good marriage never emphasizes giving but comes from the cultivation of each other in three aspects
Some people say that giving is the key to a happy marriage. This is not the case. Overemphasis on giving will only put pressure on the other party and make the relationship breathless. Managing a good marriage relationship is not only a kind of cultivation but also a kind of wisdom.
The ways people got along with each other in the past tell us a truth: a high-quality marriage relationship comes from the cultivation of the following three aspects:
01. The first practice is to cherish fate and know how to cherish each other.
What does it mean to cherish each other and how to implement it? In my opinion, it is companionship.
Accompanying is the foundation for promoting a relationship between two people. It is precisely in the process of accompanying that couples can better understand each other’s recent situation, observe each other’s emotional changes, and give corresponding emotional value on time.
It is the time we invest in our partners that makes our relationships different from our relationships with others.
Japanese housewife Eiko tells the story of her 65-year marriage with her husband in “Tomorrow is also a Little Haru Day”: for 65 years, Eiko and the couple planted vegetables, applied fertilizers, and cooked every day. In the process, she learned about the interesting things and troubles of her husband at work and never got tired of it.
The value of marriage life lies in proper management and in knowing how to cherish the fate of each other. I think that having someone in this life who can love and care for us is the result of a mutual exchange of sincerity.
02. The second practice is to understand that it is not easy for each other and to know how to support each other
Supporting each other is actually “saving money” for the relationship, which makes the couple have a “surplus” and can make the two people closer.
At the same time, be realistic when it comes to your relationship. Happy couples have realistic expectations and they know that a relationship is not all sunshine and rainbows.
After experiencing the early stages of admiring each other and valuing each other better than themselves, the two know that their relationship will also have twists and turns. Realizing this, the two will support each other no matter what.
At the same time, we should also realize that it is not easy for each other. It is much easier to accept each other than to expect to change each other, and this will also greatly reduce the quarrels between you.
Instead of always complaining about the other person not doing housework, why not do it yourself? Although this may not solve the problem, if you let the other party see your efforts, the other party will understand you and help you share the burden.
I agree with one sentence: Cognition is an insurmountable gap between people.
Good relationships can last long without getting tired of each other. However, two people with different cognitions and different perspectives on things are destined to be unable to communicate and understand each other. He cannot understand your distress; you cannot empathize with his hesitation.
The gap in cognition will build a high wall between two people, and even the best relationship will be worn out. Only people with the same level of cognition can understand each other’s difficulties, support each other, and go further.
03. The third practice is to understand and respect each other’s differences
Marriage is not about meeting each other because of excellence, but about becoming a better self because of meeting each other. A good marriage must be mutually beneficial. A good marriage allows us to understand each other’s differences and work hard to narrow the gap while maintaining respect and appreciation.
You have your copper branches and iron trunks, and I have the red flowers.
There are differences between the two parties in love. It’s not attachment, it’s not crushing, it’s not one-way worship. Good love encourages both parties to grow together.
If only one party is making progress and the other party keeps standing still, then one day the two parties will no longer be able to have in-depth communication, and the other party will no longer be their “confidant”.
The best form of love is to make progress together and take unknown risks together, just like what Shu Ting wrote in “To Kapok”: If I love you, I will never be like the climbing trumpet creeper that borrows your beautiful branches to show off itself…
“Good love is not something that is encountered, but something that is cultivated.”
Relying solely on the paper of marriage to connect two people’s feelings seems a little flimsy, but after knowing each other and staying together, they understand each other’s differences and can accept and work together to face and improve them. Only such a marriage is successful and happy.
My family of origin gave me three things: freedom to choose a career, freedom to marry, and freedom to have children. So I have a healthy second-born family and am about to start an interesting and promising life.
Marriage is a practice, it is about seeing yourself and managing each other more completely in this relationship. Giving is not about caring about how much each other gives;
It is a kind of free devotion and the harvest of the fruits of love. It is also like a kind of magic, making two independent and mature people want to cherish each other, support each other, and accompany each other with patience and respect.
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