A truly long-lasting relationship is never maintained by passion, but by two people not getting tired of each other for a long time. Is that you?
A long time ago, I thought that love was about two people going through ups and downs together and finally choosing each other. But as I grow older, it seems that I no longer expect that kind of ups and downs and sharing hardships in a relationship. On the contrary, my mentality has become much calmer.
I gradually changed my view on love and realized that long-term relationships cannot rely on love at first sight, but need to grow over time. Love, at first sight, is about looks, impulse, and passion, while long-term love requires long-term attraction and understanding between two people, including whether the three views and lifestyles of the two people are consistent.
If you want to have a long-lasting love rather than a short-term relationship, you will find that it is unlikely to maintain a long-term relationship by relying on love at first sight. The impulse and passion generated by love, at first sight, can only last for three months at most.
Love will always become dull in the end. In the beginning, two people will have a sticky, impulsive, and passionate time, but this impulse and passion are not enough to maintain the long-term love between two people. Real long-term feelings are never maintained by passion but by long-term companionship.
01. A good relationship is never about passion
It seems that every girl is full of fantasies about love when she is young. She likes to have the kind of love that her parents oppose but the two of them insist on being together, doing a lot of exciting things with their loved ones, and giving a lot for a relationship. She thinks this is the expression of true love for someone.
But as we experience more and more and grow up, when we face love again, we will find that passion is the most unreliable and easiest to lose the thing, and most things in life require hard work.
If you have a job that can support yourself and work hard for a car and a house, then it must be very tiring to have a relationship that requires a lot of thought and thinking at this time.
Gradually you will find that what you want is just to have a meal together after work, sit on the sofa, and watch a movie. Even if you just lean against each other and watch the sunrise and sunset, it is a very beautiful and healing thing. A good relationship will heal the scars in your heart and make you face life more positively and optimistically.
A good relationship will make you feel at ease, stop you from having wild thoughts and making assumptions, and allow you to trust each other unconditionally without having to pretend to be sensible and pretentious. It will give you enough sense of security, make you willing to give to each other, and make you always believe in love.
A good relationship is when two people work hard together for the future and life, have a good material life, and are very satisfied with their spiritual life. Only when you meet such a person will your life be worthwhile.
02. A good relationship lasts a long time.
I have read such a sentence in a book: “Liking is love at first sight, loving is the never-ending companionship.” It is easy to fall in love at first sight, but what is rare is the companionship of love over time. Otherwise, no matter how beautiful the love is, it will only be a flash in the pan and will eventually end in nothing.
My deskmate in school, Manman, just graduated from college and met a boy during her internship. They dated for only three months but they were madly in love and got married soon. At that time, both parents were very opposed to it, thinking that marriage was not a joke and that the two should take it seriously.
They had only known each other for three months, and it was not enough to know each other’s character and personality well enough, but the girl was very determined. She did not listen to her parents’ advice and finally got pregnant. Her parents had no choice but to agree to the marriage. At the wedding, the two read their love declarations with tears in their eyes. Everyone agreed that they would be happy for the rest of their lives.
But at the beginning of this year, I heard from old classmates that they divorced less than a year after their marriage. Life after marriage was completely different from what both of them had imagined. In relationships, in addition to impulse, we should also have an attitude of awe, protection, and a sense of responsibility. Although love at first sight sounds romantic, what we need more is long-term companionship.
A good relationship always requires careful adjustment of details. If you still don’t feel bored after being together for a long time, it often means that the other person’s character and cultivation can make us feel at ease for a long time. Only then can we have a deeper connection and a more stable flow of happiness.
03. Only when you get along for a long time can you have a tacit understanding of love
Love at first sight is not as good as long-term friendship, and long-term friendship is not as good as life at first sight. The feelings of long-term friendship are light and warm. If we can still treat each other with love as if we just met after a long time together, in my heart, it is the best feeling.
A long-term relationship requires good tacit understanding, which is a deep insight into each other, understanding each other’s habits, and supporting each other to be the most comfortable and relaxed self.
Nanny and her boyfriend have been in love for seven years. We have witnessed them from school uniforms to wedding dresses, and from wedding dresses to a son and a daughter. They are still in love as ever. We can’t help but sigh that time flies. Over the years, we have all shed our former immaturity and become adults.
My desk mate suddenly asked, why is it that Nanny’s boyfriend has never changed his attitude towards her in the past seven years and has been as good as ever, while we have changed several boyfriends and they are getting worse and worse?
This question made everyone silent. Each of us has this question in our hearts: why is it that the person we are dating always treats us very well at the beginning, but gets worse and worse in the end? But if you think about it carefully, don’t you have the same attitude in your relationships?
In the beginning, I was very careful about my words and actions, fearing that the other person would be unhappy. In the end, I became sloppy and used foul language. Slowly, it seemed as if I had changed, and the other person had changed too.
In fact, a good relationship must be accompanied by light. When you are with each other, you will feel that your days are shining every day, and you will realize that there is infinite happiness every day.
Love is ultimately a matter between two people, and it requires two people to maintain it together. Only one person’s efforts and romance will not last. I hope everyone can have a love that lasts a long time.
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