After experiencing the “pain of betrayal”, you should understand that there are 4 things you can no longer ignore
After experiencing betrayal, how to face the next life?
Many betrayed people do not consciously think about this issue because the pain takes up too much energy.
Therefore, in terms of living habits and living conditions, the betrayed person may still continue the previous living conditions, and at the same time add a layer of worry-related pain to himself.
Worry: The future will be affected by betrayal and it will be difficult to be happy again.
Pain: You cannot turn back time when you encounter betrayal.
In such a state, no matter what choice you make, whether to end the marriage or forgive the betrayal, the following days will not be easy, and it will be harder to get closer to happiness.
The pain caused by betrayal and worries about the future will be like waves, recurring again and again, allowing the betrayed to repeatedly experience the uneasiness and grievance caused by worry and pain.
Therefore, for the betrayed, how to choose after experiencing betrayal is very important, and the subsequent emotional life requires a choice; but the state in which to live after experiencing betrayal is more important, and the subsequent life needs a guarantee.
Of course, the guarantee needed for the rest of life is not just a guarantee of marriage, nor is it a promise given by the betrayer, but what kind of life the betrayed wants to give himself, and what kind of life he can provide for himself. Do as much support as you want.
If you don’t know how to plan correctly for your future after experiencing betrayal, it will be difficult to get rid of the impact of the betrayal, and it will also be difficult to get rid of the vicious cycle of emotional unhappiness.
There are two reasons:
First, without the awareness to take action for your future, it is easy to remain in the mode of asking for others. Your partner should be loyal and responsible, but he cannot commit 100% or fulfill it...
If the betrayed blindly believes that he has experienced betrayal and everything is promised and changed by his partner, he will be very passive and easily lose his judgment and awareness of protecting himself, and be hurt again.
Secondly, the occurrence of betrayal also reminds us that certain attitudes and life patterns about the entire life may need attention and change. Without the awareness of self-planning, it will be difficult to find the parts that need to be changed, and it will be easy for the living state to fall. Returning to the original state, it may not only be difficult to adjust the state of marriage but also the entire state of life will be of low quality.
Any pain, any occurrence that is unwilling to be faced, can eventually return to the individual’s inner being, allowing this occurrence to bring a “gift” of transformation to the individual’s inner being. The same is true for the experience of betrayal.
This article is specially dedicated to the person who has suffered the pain of betrayal. I hope you understand that after experiencing this pain, there are 4 things you can no longer ignore. Find the gift that belongs to you after the pain.
First: help yourself.
The most direct harm caused by betrayal is the reality. You may feel trapped in reality, which prevents you from making the counterattack you want due to your partner’s betrayal.
This will allow you to see the parts of you that need to be strengthened and improved, such as financially, perhaps in terms of inner self-independence and self-confidence, and perhaps in relationship management and communication interactions.
You need to consciously help yourself pay attention to the parts that you see and need improvement, and add some appropriate actions, such as learning, seeking professional help, etc.
After the turmoil of the marriage relationship, you learn to make yourself your most reliable support, and give yourself the safest guarantee, and you can also change your life status by improving your abilities.
Second: Understand yourself.
After experiencing betrayal, you will feel self-blame, you will involuntarily doubt and attack yourself, and you will find many scenes of yourself not doing well enough or being negligent.
You will hold on to the parts of yourself that are not good enough, and hold on to the parts that you have neglected, thinking that as long as you are better and more aware at that moment, you will not be deceived and betrayed.
These voices that accuse and attack you will bring you a certain amount of consumption, and will also make you have more self-doubt, which will make you afraid to bring out the confidence to believe in your own choices.
Doubts and attacks on yourself hide your expectations for yourself. You hope that you can be hurt less. You hope that you can know earlier or have more abilities to protect yourself.
The original intention of this expectation is to protect yourself. You can also see that although you have not met the standards you expected, you have done your best to love and protect yourself.
It’s just that what you needed before is different from what you need now. You can learn to protect yourself again. You can still protect yourself, and the efforts you have made to love and protect yourself are worth seeing. You can understand yourself and accept yourself.
You can see yourself working hard to meet your needs at every moment and bring this understanding of yourself into your life, giving you a view and understanding of yourself at every moment.
Give yourself a gentle response, and life will respond with your firm strength.
Third: Live in the moment.
After experiencing betrayal, it is easiest to live in the past and the future, but it is difficult to live in the present.
You are obsessed with how you could be betrayed when you were so good in the past; you are obsessed with how you could be betrayed after you have given so much in the past; you are worried that the future will not get better, and you are afraid that there will be another betrayal in the future. You feel that you will never forget this pain no matter what. Already…
Whether you live in the past or the future, they all have a common characteristic: you will feel that you can’t grasp anything, and you will have a deep sense of powerlessness, which will bring you new panic and pain.
If you can see that you can neither change the past nor control the future, but you can change the impact of the past on the present by living in the present, and you can also affect the future through the present, are you willing to give yourself some energy and time to live in the present? What about now?
Living in the present means no longer regretting and complaining. Living in the present means letting go of uncontrollable desires and living every minute of the present in a down-to-earth manner. Living in the present means focusing on the things and efforts that can be done in the present. .
By focusing on the present moment, sensing your present moment, and sensing that you are making real efforts to meet your own needs, you can feel your power, your initiative, and the sense of security that you are responsible for yourself.
Through practice, living more consciously and consciously in the present moment will improve the quality of your life.
Fourth: Plan for the future consciously and with planning.
In the previous section, we mentioned the future. For those who have experienced the pain of betrayal, planning for the future is necessary and important.
How to plan is more important than the “planning” itself, because often in an unconscious state, your plans for the future will turn into new worries, or the control in the relationship will make you lose control and the relationship will also lose control...
Conscious and planned planning requires several prerequisites:
01. Don’t be blind, know what you need and what your bottom line is.
02. Make your action plan for what you want, and no longer passively wait for others to give you a result or give you a promise.
03. Be responsible for yourself. This is the direction you want. When you take action, you must be prepared for yourself. You must work hard and have the ability to catch yourself.
04. Improve your ability to live and manage relationships through learning, giving your choices more possibilities to be realized.
The part of planning for the future can also be copied by you and applied to other experiences and needs in your life.
These 4 things focus on establishing a true connection between you and yourself, pulling you back from the impact of betrayal, returning to yourself, and finding your wisdom and strength, letting your wisdom and strength Be your support.
After experiencing betrayal, it is important to get rid of the pain, and it is also important to live the next life how you want. These four things can help you connect yourself from the pain, and can also lead you into a new kind of connection through connection. life and living conditions.
By allowing you to move from pain to prosperity, you can better resist any external impact and protect yourself; you can also better control your own life and your happiness.
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