After forgiveness, how to let go of your lover’s betrayal? If you recognize something clearly, you will know the answer
“I want to make myself stronger, or even stronger so that I can let go of my lover’s betrayal. I don’t want to be so hard, and I don’t want to live in the entanglement of betrayal every day.”
This may be a problem that many parties who choose to forgive in a marital crisis want to overcome. It seems that only by doing this can the pain caused by betrayal pass and the marriage truly start over.
However, just like physical pain, if we resist the pain and cannot accept the pain, the feeling of pain is still there, but it will become more conspicuous because of our unwillingness to accept it.
It becomes very difficult to make oneself stronger and not be affected by this pain. This has to make people think deeply about how strong one needs to be to get out of the pain caused by betrayal and no longer suffer from it. And resentment, and no longer worry about and deny the next life because of its existence?
A heart-wrenching truth: Real strength is not about how much power you have to stay away from pain. Real strength is the courage to face reality and admit vulnerability.
If I push it further, I would like to say that true strength is to be able to see your fragility and accept your fragility and powerlessness.
In a marriage crisis, in the choice of forgiving your partner, if you want to become stronger after being betrayed, you must first be able to accept that you are not strong enough, that you are painful, and that you are powerless in the face of the turmoil of marriage . Accept that your inner emotions are frustrated and disappointing, and accept that you still can’t let go even if you choose to forgive.
This acceptance is a kind of permission for oneself, allowing oneself to be a living and ordinary person, allowing oneself to be a person with limited abilities, and allowing oneself to be a person with emotions and needs.
This acceptance is also about seeing yourself, seeing that you have encountered a setback in your life experience that is difficult for you to bear and deal with, seeing that you are in pain, seeing that you are injured, seeing that you are forced to continue your career for various reasons. marriage;
I also saw that even if you were hurt, in pain, confused and anxious, you took out your courage and made the “choice to forgive”, and the choice you made an effort for your true inner needs and voice.
So, it seems that you are suffering, that you are continuing to suffer the effects of betrayal, and this is a normal and allowed period for people who have experienced major events. You do not need to be quick when you are in pain Cheer up, you can take your time.
Also, it seems that you are suffering, and you don’t seem to be making efforts that you feel are effective in avoiding pain, but in the midst of the marital crisis and the state of being hurt, you are able to make choices, and you also realize that you need to cheer yourself up;
It means that you have done the best you can, and you have tried your best to do what you can for yourself in the painful state.
Isn’t this what it means to be powerful? Forgiveness is a choice made with strong inner support. After forgiving, try to let yourself go. It is also the inner strength that supports you to move towards better things. You just need to give yourself a little time.
Of course, when you can see what you have done, you also recognize that you are working hard, but there may be a part of you that still needs to be stronger.
This part requires you to be able to truly improve your strength. At the same time, this part will become a stronger support for what you have seen in front of yourself. It may also support you to continue in your marriage and your life. A missing strength.
At this point, we can see the path to a truly powerful person: accepting one’s weaknesses and shortcomings, seeing one’s efforts, and finally doing something to improve one’s ability to face problems.
Go back to the situation where you experienced betrayal and you want to make yourself stronger. Acknowledge the situation and try to accept yourself. You can also see your persistence and hard work. The next direction in which you want to become stronger has nothing to do with the occurrence of “betrayal” .
To be more precise, you need to recognize one thing clearly: the next step for you to become stronger is to improve your ability to face problems, and it may also be your ability to make yourself happy, not just to get rid of the pain and impact of betrayal. Being able to make a difference.
This distinction has two meanings:
First: It’s painful for you to experience betrayal, and you see that you need to be strong. Only if you truly regard being strong as making yourself “stronger,” rather than escaping from pain, can you truly have a chance to achieve the strength you want.
That is, your strength is not to stop suffering. Your strength is just to make yourself more mature, more stable, more capable, and more wise. Your strength is that through this experience, you are willing to improve yourself. You want to Make yourself more valuable and capable.
Second: Through such a distinction, you can get out of the situation of “betrayal brings pain”, relax and enlarge your perspective of life, so that your life direction does not just stop at “ needing to be strong because of injury “ in the mode.
It allows you to enrich yourself more for your life, allows you to live your life more, allows you to find the direction and mission of your life, and immerses you in the frequency of living for yourself
Although your marriage is in crisis, you don’t have to live in the “stress state” caused by the crisis. You can return to your life as your home court.
Or you can use this pain to learn to cherish yourself, awaken your inner vigorous power, connect with your inner blueprint of life, and add infinite possibilities to your life that you need and want.
I have forgiven the betrayal, but still can’t let it go in my heart. You are already very wise and amazing for being able to think of strengthening yourself; because you are about to meet the self-sufficient you through this willingness to make yourself stronger.
The initial pain after experiencing betrayal is indeed a push button. Because of the pain, it pushes you to awaken, and because of the pain, it pushes you to be strong.
Then for the rest of your life, no matter what choices you make, you can use this push, and you are not limited to this push.
Just like finding a key to unlock your inner self, this painful push is the key. Your direction is to open yourself and create a more prosperous life state, or a life journey that fills you with value and prosperity.
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