Do you know Someone Is Pretending To Like You

2bebetter
6 min readMar 29, 2024

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Love and relationships can be complex, and understanding someone’s true feelings might seem like a daunting task. Love is no exception to this rule. If you find yourself questioning your partner’s intentions or want to be certain about their genuineness, let’s explore eight signs that someone may be pretending to like you.

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1. They’re Only Affectionate in Public

I once dated someone who would shower me with affection whenever we were out in public. Holding hands, sweet gestures, and plenty of public displays of affection were common occurrences. However, behind closed doors, the affection dwindled, and intimacy seemed lacking. It made me question the authenticity of their feelings, as it felt like they were more concerned with appearances than genuine connection.

Think about how your partner shows affection towards you — whether it’s through a touch, a kiss, or a hug. Pay attention to when they choose to do this. If they display affection solely in public but seem distant in private, it might be a red flag. This behavior could indicate that they are only showing affection for appearances’ sake or to keep up the illusion of a healthy relationship, while their true feelings may not match their actions.

2. They Prefer to Spend Time with Friends

In a past relationship, my partner frequently chose to spend time with their friends over me, often canceling our plans to hang out with them instead. While I understood the importance of maintaining friendships, it left me feeling neglected and undervalued. It became apparent that our relationship was not their top priority, leading me to question their true feelings towards me.

Does your partner often prioritize spending time with their friends over you? Do they frequently cancel plans with you to be with them? If so, it could suggest that your partner values their friendships more than your romantic connection. While having a healthy social life is essential, consistently putting friends ahead of your relationship could indicate that they are pretending to like you.

3. They Don’t Prioritize Your Relationship

There was a time when I was in a relationship where my partner consistently failed to make time for us. Promises were frequently broken, and plans were canceled last minute, leaving me feeling unimportant and disregarded. Despite their verbal expressions of love, their actions spoke louder, indicating a lack of genuine affection and commitment.

A strong and genuine relationship requires both partners to make each other a priority. If your partner frequently fails to make time for you, breaks promises, or cancels plans at the last minute, it shows a lack of commitment and respect. Words of love and care mean little without actions to back them up. If they don’t prioritize your relationship, they might not genuinely like you.

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4. They Don’t Give You Their Full Attention

I’ve experienced moments where I would pour my heart out to my partner, only to feel like they weren’t fully present. Their constant distraction, whether it was checking their phone or being lost in their thoughts, made me question if they truly cared about our relationship. It highlighted the importance of active listening and being fully engaged in conversations to nurture a genuine connection.

Even when spending time together, pay attention to whether your partner is fully present or distracted. If they seem disinterested, constantly checking their phone, or preoccupied with other thoughts, it may indicate that they are not invested in the relationship. Genuine affection involves active listening and engaging with your partner, which could be lacking in this case.

5. They Try to Change Things About You

In a previous relationship, my partner often criticized aspects of my personality and appearance, suggesting changes to fit their ideal image. It made me feel insecure and inadequate, as if my true self wasn’t enough for them. It taught me that genuine love embraces each other’s flaws and imperfections, rather than seeking to mold them into something else.

Acceptance is a vital aspect of any loving relationship. Partners who genuinely care about each other embrace each other’s flaws and imperfections. However, if your partner tries to change aspects of your personality, appearance, or behavior to fit their preferences, it could be a sign of pretense. True love is accepting and supportive, not demanding change.

6. They Don’t Open Up to You

In a past relationship, I noticed that my partner seemed hesitant to open up about their feelings, dreams, and fears with me. While they appeared to share these aspects of themselves freely with friends and family, they maintained a sense of guardedness around me. Despite my efforts to create a safe and supportive environment for open communication, they remained distant. This lack of emotional intimacy left me feeling disconnected and uncertain about the depth of our relationship. It highlighted the importance of trust and vulnerability in building a genuine connection with my partner.

Emotional intimacy is crucial in a romantic relationship. If your partner avoids sharing their feelings, dreams, and fears with you but seems open with others, it suggests a lack of trust or genuine affection. A relationship based on pretense can’t thrive without vulnerability and emotional connection.

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7. They Don’t Ask for Your Opinion

In a previous relationship, I often felt overlooked and undervalued because my partner rarely sought my opinion in important decisions. Whether it was about where to go for dinner or major life choices, they seemed to make unilateral decisions without considering my perspective. This lack of consultation made me question whether they truly respected my thoughts and feelings, leading to feelings of frustration and resentment.

A caring partner values your thoughts and opinions. When someone genuinely likes you, they seek your input in important decisions because they respect your perspective. If your partner consistently dismisses your views, it might imply that they don’t value your thoughts, feelings, or equality in the relationship.

8. They Don’t Make You Feel Loved

There was a time in my relationship when I began to feel a growing sense of insecurity and doubt. Despite my partner’s assurances of love, their actions often left me feeling neglected and unappreciated. Simple gestures of affection and genuine expressions of care were lacking, and I found myself yearning for validation and reassurance. Trusting my intuition, I realized that the disparity between their words and actions was taking a toll on my emotional well-being. It became clear that feeling unloved in a relationship can have a profound impact on one’s self-esteem and happiness, underscoring the importance of open and honest communication to address underlying issues.

Trust your intuition and feelings. If you have a gut feeling that something is off in your relationship, don’t ignore it. When your partner’s words and actions don’t align, it can lead to confusion and insecurity. Feeling unloved in a relationship can be emotionally taxing, and it’s essential to address the issue openly and honestly.

Photo by Darius Bashar on Unsplash

In conclusion, understanding whether someone genuinely likes you can be challenging, but paying attention to these eight signs can help you gain clarity. If you recognize some of these signs in your relationship, have an open and honest conversation with your partner. Communication is key to addressing issues and determining if both of you are on the same page. Remember, true love is based on authenticity, respect, and care.

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2bebetter
2bebetter

Written by 2bebetter

"Exploring love & relationships. Providing advice, insights, and inspiration to inspire you to find & maintain healthy and fulfilling connections."