Don’t let your crush bother yourself

9 min readAug 7, 2024

I hope you won’t bother yourself with a crush anymore. Just follow the five steps I told you. If he can hold on, I respect him as a man.

1. “Be thick-skinned, take the initiative, and know when to stop.”

If you are a thin-skinned and fragile person who needs more than 5 hours to think about sending a message to the other person, please stop. If you are a person who has been brainwashed by online chicken soup articles and always believes that “women must not take the initiative”, please stop. Chasing a man, taking the initiative to send messages, and having some normal communication between friends is very normal.

What is “crushing”? You show your love and attention every day, lose yourself, and say some inappropriate words such as “I miss you”, “How can I flirt with you”, and “I bought you a lot of delicious food, I will give it to you at your house” when the relationship is far from reaching the concentration, and then have sex on the first meeting. This is “crushing”.

What is a girl-style initiative? Normally share some things about yourself so that the other person can have a concrete understanding of your life and thoughts, just like meeting a new friend, such as “I’m a little lucky today”, “I just went to the gym and encountered a very funny thing”, “I spent an afternoon reading this book”. Ask him some questions about him with curiosity to understand his life, such as “So you like watching Kenji Mizoguchi’s movies the most”, “How is your review going”, “How long did you work out today”, etc. Why are you rushing to do it? You can’t make friends with the opposite sex, right?

Getting to know each other with the mentality of making friends is a girl’s initiative. Girls who know how to communicate and control emotional energy will establish this kind of communication very smoothly and harmoniously. Over time, men will feel very comfortable and develop psychological dependence. So the most important thing is that you have to be thick-skinned, you have to be able to ask curious questions, and you have to be able to share interesting things. Many people ask me, how should I start. Just ask him questions directly, or talk about your things, it’s that simple. However, you must also grasp the degree and rhythm.

The rhythm of contact: If you are there to make friends, then it is okay to contact each other every day, even if you just say a few words or play a game occasionally. If your relationship itself does not have this attribute, you have no idea whether the other party is single or wants to fall in love. Please contact him every few days and talk to him about specific things, which can be the intersection of work or the information interpreted from his circle of friends. Then, from shallow to deep, understand the other party’s emotional state clearly, and then contact him every day.

The degree of contact: In any case, you must not chat from morning to night without interruption, because in the end the man will be exhausted and choose to quit.

Every chat is best to be short, just like eating small meals. When this topic is finished, we will stop, and we can continue with a new topic. Don’t talk about a meaningless topic back and forth for 20 or 30 sentences. While wasting time, it also makes you a chatterbox in the eyes of the other party. You should know that men hate women who chatterbox the most. If you feel that the other person is busy or the meaning is a little weak, you should learn to retreat appropriately. After all, the premise of all chats is to “not disturb”, “respect the other person’s meaning”, and “be sensible”. You are not too far from him, but you will never take up too much of his time. After all, every adult has his things to do. So, if you like him, please spend some time and energy thinking of some good topics, start from your curiosity about him, start by sharing your own life, and communicate with the mentality of a friend. You will find that this is not difficult.

Step 3

“There is a feeling called: She is so beautiful” What kind of girls do men generally like? Answer: Girls who make him feel beautiful. The person who still makes people feel hope and happiness in life after busy work and in a tired life is the motivation pursued by most men. Many relationships cannot go on because the girl who “once made men feel beautiful and cheerful” gradually disappeared, became a shrew, became a shrew, and became an idle person. So in the process of contacting the guy you like, you must show your beautiful appearance. But beauty is not about being pretentious, hypocritically humming and humming around him every day, no. Beauty is very simple, that is, your energy field is clean and positive. Positive energy must be easy to understand, that is, when you are in contact with him, you don’t complain, swear, or get angry, you are very optimistic, like to laugh, there are many fun things, and wonderful ideas will bubble up from time to time. Clean energy, I don’t know if you can understand it. Chat with short sentences, don’t be long-winded, don’t procrastinate, have your things to do, have your logic of doing things and speaking, speak delicately, don’t abuse expressions, don’t involve messy things, have quiet moments, and are not a woman who has nothing to do and just wants to chat. To put it simply: you usually don’t show up, but every time you show up, you have your own sunny and sweet BGM and there are topics to talk about.

Step 4

Girls who love to show off will win

When you like him, but he hasn’t liked you yet, what do you think is the reason?

Stupid! Of course, it’s because he doesn’t know you yet and doesn’t know how good you are!

You should know that you and he do not live under the same roof, and you have not been friends since childhood. Now he has only a few ways to know you: circle of friends, meeting, and chatting. Please be humble and low-key in the workplace and life. In a one-to-one relationship, please learn to sell yourself and convey positive information to the other party as much as possible. Just like a product, if there is no advertising or promotion, good wine will be afraid of being hidden in a deep valley, and good products will be buried. If you describe yourself as a useless person, why should he like you? Therefore, the clearer the other party knows about your strengths, your social skills, your regular internal system, your good living habits, and your excellent economic conditions, the more likely he will be attracted to you. Please learn to make yourself a life-saving straw in his boring life. Of course, the creation of a circle of friends is also indispensable, so I won’t say more here.

Step 5

“Appropriate pressure, be ruthless when necessary, and be cold when necessary” Being a gentle and beautiful person is just the foundation. Having appropriate principles can make you more valuable. In the initial stage of my contact with my partner, there was a moment when I felt that he had little desire to chat with me and seemed to be gradually losing interest in me. But I felt that I had done nothing wrong and had already lowered the frequency of chatting. So one time, after he didn’t reply to my message for an hour, I asked him: “You are not interested in chatting, right?”

After a while, he said: “I’m working out.” I ignored him.

Maybe he felt that his tone just now was not good, and then he added: “I have to work out every day at noon.” I still ignored him.

After a few hours, he sent another message: “I have a suggestion, let’s have dinner together in the evening.” I still ignored him.

After 7 p.m., he sent another message: “Hey, no one is eating with me. Poor me, I can only go home to eat.” Seeing this, I smiled in my heart and the test was over.

Then I made up for it an hour later: “I encountered a very unhappy thing this afternoon. When I feel better, I will go to dinner with you.” He quickly replied: “Okay.”

Saying this is actually to tell everyone not to compromise blindly, and you must have your clear logic: if you are interested in me, let’s continue. If you are indifferent to me, I will ask you and test you. If it doesn’t work, I will withdraw. If

my boyfriend didn’t do this series of actions at the time, I probably wouldn’t insist on it. After all, girls who take the initiative also need face. It’s not right to put your face on a cold butt. I have seen many girls who have sent messages to the other party for a month in a row, but the other party has always responded coldly. Why bother? Youth is short, and you must spend it on a man who is worth it.

And in the early days of my relationship with my boyfriend, I would confirm his feelings for me now and then. If it was lower than my expectations, I would usually be very cruel. First, I blamed him, then blocked him once, and gave him the cold shoulder several times. The advantage of doing this is that the rules are well followed, which guarantees a worry-free future:)

When should we be cold? When he has a bad attitude and doesn’t give you a satisfactory answer, we can choose not to get angry, but to banish him directly.

Step 6

“Pursue victory and win quickly”

Sorry, this title is a bit exaggerated.

But there is no way. Sometimes it will not work if you delay it for too long, and you will become a spare tire. Try to control the time of pursuing victory within 1 to 2 months after you and he start chatting every day, especially after he responds to your requests, such as coming out when you call him out for dinner, basically replying when you call him to chat, and taking the initiative to chat with you.

The way to pursue this is through verbal confirmation and physical contact. Of course, if some girls feel uncomfortable with this, they still have to have a sense of ritual and let the boys confess, then they can wait until he confesses.

If you are impatient, you can directly say “I am a little confused now.” The other party asks: “What are you confused about?” You say: “I don’t know what it means for us to chat every day like this.” Then you can just wait and see.

As for physical contact, for example, when watching a movie, whisper a few words to him in his ear, pull his clothes, or get very close to him when walking… Everyone will have some behaviors out of instinct because of love, just express it naturally. Some girls’ eyes can make men very excited. You

can also make more appointments to go to some activities such as skating, secret rooms, etc. that may have physical contact. But remember, dates must be made during the day, go to public places more often, and don’t enter private spaces immediately.