Someone said: “At any time, a person should not be a slave to his emotions, nor should he let all his actions be controlled by his emotions, but should control his emotions instead.”
Everyone has emotions. Some people are good at controlling their emotions, while others are controlled by their emotions.
Those who let their emotions get the better of them often take out their negative emotions on others.
People’s emotions are interconnected, and negative emotions are like viruses, with strong destructive power.
If you don’t want to be infected by those bad emotions, you must learn to stay away from them.
The most insightful way for a person to live is not to pay for other people’s emotions.
1. In life, people are dumping emotional garbage everywhere
In your life, have you ever met someone who gets furious and starts cursing over trivial matters?
They are full of negative energy, and competing with them often comes at a huge price.
As the “ Garbage Man Law “ says on the Internet, it refers to people who have a lot of negative emotions. When these negative emotions accumulate, they have to find an outlet to vent. Sometimes they happen to meet you, and these garbage emotions will be thrown at you.
Once, I took a taxi and the 30-minute journey felt so unbearable and time had never seemed so long to me.
At first, the driver was chatting and I echoed a few words, and everything was normal.
Later, we came to a traffic light with eight seconds left before the light turned red. For some reason, the car in front of us paused, causing the car I was in to be unable to cross the intersection.
Then I heard the driver scolding: “Is this person sick? If he can’t drive, go home and embarrass himself…”
Afterwards, another car sped past us and the driver started swearing and uttering foul language all the way.
In life, we always meet people who dump emotional garbage like this driver. They may be strangers on the street, or they may be friends and relatives around us.
In the TV series “I’m Fine in Another Country”, the optimistic, cheerful, and positive Hu Jingjing has long served as everyone’s emotional treehole.
My cousin had cervical cancer and was unwilling to tell her family. She was the one who accompanied her cousin during treatment and endured her sadness and hopelessness.
Friends would talk to her about all the troubles they encountered;
On the day she ended her life, her mother was still scolding her on the phone…
She gave her “sunshine” to everyone, but took on all the negative emotions of others.
Finally, on her 26th birthday, burdened with so much, she decided to jump off the overpass.
She cares too much about other people’s emotions, puts herself in other people’s situations, and empathizes with their suffering.
If a person is trapped in other people’s emotions for a long time, it will be like a disaster, because everyone’s tolerance is limited, and too many negative emotions will inevitably lead to a day of collapse.
2. Rather than being polluted by emotions, it is better to relax your mind
“What is it like to have a friend with negative energy around you?”
“Pain, this is my deepest feeling. I feel that having a negative friend is the biggest source of negative energy in my life.”
Often the closer you are to someone, the more you will be affected by their emotions.
In psychology, there is a term called “ emotional pollution “, which means that when a person feels wronged or is in a bad mood, he will unconsciously spread this bad emotion to others, causing many people to feel bad.
A study found that people who are originally cheerful will soon become depressed if they get along with someone who is frowning and has a lot of negative emotions all day long.
Those who are sensitive are more easily infected by bad emotions. This transmission process is subtle and difficult to guard against.
There are already many unsatisfactory things in life, and if they are polluted by bad emotions, it will only be worse.
I like this sentence: “Don’t focus on things that are not worth it. Your current life is 10%, and you can create the remaining 90% yourself. It depends on how you look at it.”
At any time, you should relax and learn to make yourself happy.
There is a psychological counseling center run by a couple. It is crowded with people every day, and appointment numbers are often booked for several months later.
The reason they are so popular is that their job is to make every client who comes to them practice one lesson regularly: finding reasons to smile.
For example, someone compliments your new clothes;
As the elevator doors are about to close, someone sees you rushing over, pressing the button just to get you there;
When I was going home at night, there was a dark road, and the street light that had been broken for a long time was lit today;
The sprinkler truck stopped to spray water one or two meters away from you, so you didn’t get wet…
Those who followed the exercise found it easy to find a dozen reasons to smile almost every day.
Emotions are contagious, including good emotions. Don’t make excuses for bad emotions, but find reasons to be happy.
In life, any beautiful details can serve as a source of happiness, because it is a gift from life to you.
3. Know how to maintain emotional boundaries and don’t pay for other people’s emotions
“If someone affects your emotions, your focus should be on controlling your own emotions, not on the person who affects your emotions.”
A truly insightful person understands that other people’s emotions have nothing to do with their own and knows how to maintain emotional boundaries.
Emotional boundaries are like a virtual line that separates my feelings from those of others. On this side of the boundary are my emotions, and on the other side are other people’s emotions.
Being responsible for other people’s emotions is also a sign of crossing a line.
In life, when you encounter emotions that cross the line, you can use the following methods:
1. Stay away from
Do you remember the fight that happened in a hot pot restaurant in Chongqing some time ago?
The online video showed someone pouring hot pot soup based on people. The incident involved three men and one woman. It was just a small conflict at first, and then the quarrel between the two sides escalated into a fierce tug of war. In the end, a middle-aged man picked up the hot pot soup base and attacked the other party.
Many people would think that it is just a verbal conflict and if you take a step back, the sky will be clear. Why should you make a fuss about it?
It is inevitable to encounter some bad people in life. They are very aggressive, full of negative emotions, and eager to find an outlet to vent.
If you get entangled with them, you will only end up hurt. If you meet such a person, stay away from him as soon as possible.
2. Refuse politely
Writer Yu Hua once said that the first thing he considers in making friends is happiness, as boring friends are a bit tiring to get along with.
Plants like to grow towards the sun, and people are the same. They like to interact and make friends with people who are in a good mood.
In life, when you meet a friend who is always sighing, full of negative energy and tells you bad things, once or twice, you can understand your friend’s feelings, and give him/her care and comfort.
But after a few times, when you notice that your emotions have changed, you should learn to refuse tactfully.
For example: Listen to your friend for a few minutes, then tell him or her that you have a meeting and need to leave.
3. View from a third-party perspective
There are also some people you cannot refuse, such as your leader who tells you about his misfortunes.
When you can only endure negative emotions silently, you can step out of it and look at it from a third-party perspective.
You can calm down and think about it: suppose you are a reporter now, interviewing your leader, and he encounters such a bad thing, what should he do? What measures will he take next?
A third-party perspective can help you get out of your predicament, put you in an objective and fair position, and treat the situation more rationally.
Whenever you are faced with a dilemma or a difficult decision, try this method.
4. Take care of your emotions
I have read such a story.
A girl failed the college entrance examination. Seeing her classmates getting admission letters, she envied them and felt very disappointed. However, she did not indulge in negative emotions. Instead, she humorously told her friends: “I went to seek shelter.”
Then, she went on a trip.
The natural scenery outside attracted her deeply. The boundless ocean swept away the depression in her heart. Her emotions became stable and her mind became open. Then she faced reality with a good attitude.
When you encounter unpleasant things in life, you can learn from the girls and learn to take care of your emotional health.
Find a way to regulate your emotions that suits you, such as exercise, writing in a diary, reading a book, etc.
“The meaning of life is not to find an outlet for other people’s emotions, but to find a way out for your own life.”
Your life is your own. Don’t be trapped in other people’s emotions and don’t pay for their emotions.
At all times, take care of your emotions and be responsible for yourself.
Charge yourself first before you can light up others.
Click on a clip, I hope you can get rid of all the worries and enjoy life quietly.
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