“Haha” is so perfunctory! 6 Tips for Chatting Online… It’s Important to Be Ambiguous
When I was chatting with a friend a few days ago, someone on his dating app happened to respond to him, so he casually told me what the conversation was about. He said that he told people at around 2 o’clock in the middle of the night, “I’m not asleep yet, haha,” and they didn’t reply to him anymore. I said: “Your haha is used to resolve embarrassment! The two words “haha” are embarrassing as hell. People will think you are just like other people, and of course, they won’t be interested. Think about it for yourself, if you told someone, “I like you very much,” and the other person replied, “Yes, haha.” Do you still want to continue?” He said, “X, you suddenly became cold, that’s bullshit!” I said, “Then That’s right!”
Many people will ask me how to chat. What should I send to the other party? If I hadn’t seen the actual conversation, I wouldn’t necessarily be able to identify the problem because the problem is hidden in places where people wouldn’t even think to tell me. Most people would not think that just the word “haha” would have such a counter-effect.
Once, a person who came to me for consultation showed me her conversation record. I pointed to a particularly long paragraph and asked her: “How would you feel if a boy suddenly said these words to you out of nowhere? “She said, “Hey, it’s so scary!” I pointed to the second paragraph below and said, “Then he sent you such a long paragraph the next day. How do you feel?” She said, “It’s so scary.” “Hey, there’s so much pressure!” I said, “Yes, that’s how the other person feels.”
Many times, you don’t even need to ask me, is it right to chat like this? As long as you think about it before sending the message: “If I were the person who received the message, how would I feel?” You can filter out the messages. If you feel so stressed, so scared, and so uncomfortable, then aren’t you asking for your death by sending such a message to others? People say, “Don’t do to others what you don’t want others to do to you.” If you don’t like how you’re treated, in principle, don’t imagine that others will like it.
There are only a few simple key points in sending messages:
1. Use concise words. This is especially applicable to boys.
Many boys send messages that are not tidy, and they look like mothers-in-law. If they can reply within five words, they have to use thirty words, and the effect is not good, so why bother to waste those youth? When a girl asks you: “Do you want to eat together?”, you can just reply: “What are you going to eat?” or “Okay” or “What time?” and it will be solved. Instead, you insist on saying: “Oh, sure, I am here today.” I’ll get off work at about seven o’clock, and it’ll be around seven-thirty when I get there. Have you thought about what you want to eat? Or are you thinking about it then? “
X! It doesn’t cost much, so there’s no need to say so much. Isn’t it difficult for you to answer questions? Why do you talk so much? People just ask you whether you want it or not. Why can’t you be more relaxed?
2. Discuss matters as they arise. Just say whatever they ask you. If they don’t ask you, don’t say anything like a mountain. People may not want to hear it.
People may just casually ask: “You don’t have a boyfriend/girlfriend now?” Just reply: “No” or “What are you doing”? Don’t reply like “Oh, my ex-boyfriend/girlfriend got married in March this year.” Cheating on my best friend, I feel that there is no relationship that can be trusted in this world. Everyone will betray me in the end, whether it is a friend or a boyfriend/girlfriend, no one can believe that there is true love in this world. I don’t even know.”
⋯⋯Who are you trying to scare to death? When people ask you questions, you just answer them casually. If you explain it in such detail, why don’t you talk about it with the eighteen generations of your ancestors? If people want to know, they will keep asking. You don’t need to take the initiative to talk so much. Can you respect the listener’s wishes?
3. Life is not only about feelings, this especially applies to online dating.
Once I downloaded a dating app on a whim and met five people, all of whom said the same thing. I said, “Ah, you’re not sleeping yet?” The other person said, “Oh, I can’t sleep.” I said, “?” The other person said, “Oh, I’m feeling hurt.” Five people all told me that I was feeling hurt. What does Sai Chen’s mother have? How much hurt?! Isn’t life just about feelings? Although the purpose of using dating apps is to find a partner, you don’t have to go around telling people that you’re in love, right? Is this okay?
After the fifth person said the word “emotional injury” to me, I decisively deleted the dating app.
4. Please look at people’s heart and lungs. This applies especially to girls.
Please use familiarity to distinguish what should be said and what should not be said. Don’t say a lot of things to everyone, or talk too much to others before you are familiar enough. First, others may not want to hear it; second, if the other person is not familiar with you enough, you cannot predict the other person’s reaction. If the other person’s reaction is not as good as you expected, you will get hurt; third, talking about things everywhere will only make people feel uncomfortable. Others feel that it is not a secret at all, and it may even make others guess whether you tell everyone, even if you are not.
It’s okay to talk about what’s on your mind, but please wait until you’re familiar with the other person, or when you meet or talk on the phone. Otherwise, if you’ve already finished talking, what will you say to them in the future?
5. Don’t dig into people’s privacy casually. This applies especially to boys who read too many of my articles.
I do say that emotional resonance is important and dealing with negative emotions is important, but people may not be that familiar with you, so don’t insist on prying into other people’s privacy. If they don’t want to talk about it, don’t insist on it. This will only make people think you are contemptuous. The prerequisite for dealing with the other person’s negative emotions is that the other person has established a basic sense of trust in you. Unless you meet someone who lacks emotional outlets, you will most likely end up eating shit.
6. If you want to flirt, you must maintain the ambiguous tension.
Don’t talk everything over and over. You are not a politician, so you don’t need to explain everything clearly. Ambiguity means that the picture is not clear. You guess me, I guess yours is not exciting. You can explain everything clearly and clearly, so what is there to say about ambiguity? Don’t be afraid that the other person won’t think of what you mean, just let him think of it! It’s better to make him want to break your head so that you can brush your presence in his mind, rather than to remind him that you are still alive with notifications all day long.
If the other party asks you what type of person you like, you can reply: “What do you think?” and then go to sleep or play a game. If the other party continues to ask, you can reply: “Haha” and change the topic. Just to make him unable to think of anything even if he thinks about it! Because you don’t think about anything at all, it’s best if he can guess it.
You will find that these things are not unfamiliar to you at all, because you are the same with the people you don’t like. This is why people you don’t like will like you, and people you like won’t like you. Put yourself a little higher, you are not that worthless, why do you have to be afraid that the other person won’t like you? Feel free to talk! If you have to be timid and timid even if you can chat all day long, then why is there any need to talk about love?
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