How to deal with people who speak ill of you behind your back
Talking ill of people behind their backs is a common psychological phenomenon among the masses; it can also be regarded as the result of “social comparison”.
When people compare themselves with people who are similar to them, in addition to seeking a sense of existence, they may also develop feelings of jealousy.
When you consciously or unconsciously show your superiority to the people around you, your subconscious motivation to be superior to others will be revealed.
Even if you are silent, you may be hurting the people around you because they are always comparing themselves to you.
The very act of showing off your life can be considered an offense.
It especially hurts those whose hearts are as high as the sky and their lives are as thin as paper; if you meet someone who has “a maid’s destiny and a princess’s heart” again, then when she ridicules you, your life will not be peaceful, and you will even be surrounded by enemies on all sides.
“There is no one who speaks behind someone’s back, and there is no one who speaks in front of others.”
As long as we have shortcomings, there will be “bad things” for others to say.
We have no way not to live in the eyes of others, but we also have no way to live only in the eyes of others.
In life, when we find that someone is speaking ill of us behind our back, each of us will feel very uncomfortable.
When we know that others are speaking ill of us behind our backs, we feel uncomfortable. How should we deal with it?
We often hear people who are good at organizing things say the words “break up and let go”.
The so-called “giveaway” is nothing more than this person’s bright and decisive style.
The reason why he can be so bright is because he understands where these things come from and then knows where they should go.
Some things are given to us by close relatives and friends, and we think they are worth keeping; some things are bought casually based on crazy ideas at the time, so there is no need to keep them.
The reason why I remind you of these principles of organizing things is because we must have the same attitude towards emotions.
Some people live cautiously because they are worried about others speaking ill of them.
But you will find that these people who live extremely cautious lives will still be told bad things by others behind their backs.
In other words, you can’t escape being told bad things.
When you are spoken ill of, please understand that it is not speaking ill of “you”, but that others must speak ill, whether it is to promote professional relationships or to vent their emotions.
It’s just that when they say bad things, they just use “you” as the subject matter.
Some people worry that if others speak ill of them behind their backs, their personalities will collapse.
We need to have confidence in our personality because our personality is not that fragile.
If our persona collapses just because others say bad things behind our backs, this persona must not be reliable.
This character design may be too forced for us.
It fits the saying: You never know how many versions of yourself there are in other people’s mouths.
For example, someone got a year-end bonus through a year of hard work, but was told that he only flattered the leader and must have gone through the back door;
For example, some girls choose to break up because their partner cheated on them, but when told by others, they blame the other person for having no money and worshiping money;
Another example is that I spent more than half a year’s salary choosing to travel abroad, and in the end, I ended up being kept.
To be honest, the more powerful you are, the more people will be jealous and say bad things about you behind your back.
When you have nothing to do, listen to what others say about yourself, which is more exciting than watching blockbusters.
Mark Twain once said: Good breeding consists in concealing our better opinions of ourselves and in concealing our worse opinions of others.
But many people often fail to do so.
A phone call that is not answered in time, a text message that is not answered, a sentence that is not interpreted correctly, the speaker is unintentional but the listener is intentional, all of which may lead to misunderstandings.
Unfounded random speculation is terrible, but what is even more terrible is the unthinking spreading of lies by others.
The scary thing between people is not indifference or misunderstanding, but that you don’t believe me when you see me, but you believe me in what others say.
What to do when faced with such a situation?
Many people will choose to explain, but please believe me, those who easily believe those rumors, will not listen if you explain to them.
Some deep-rooted subjective impressions cannot be resolved through explanation.
So instead of worrying about it, just do what you should do and don’t worry about so much.
“In the face of unnecessary misunderstandings, there is no need to explain because clarifying requires too much time and costs too much. It is better to improve yourself and use your strength to It makes more sense to prove myself.”
Presumably, many people have been misunderstood at times.
At times like this, I will ask myself countless times, is there something I did not do well enough?
Did you do or say something wrong?
I always remember an analogy: If other people’s views of you were a mirror, everyone would be frightened by the image in the mirror.
It’s not easy for me to ignore other people’s opinions because I have been vain since I was a child.
But my life experience tells me that I must change this shyness and sensitivity, otherwise I will not be able to survive.
Just open your mouth to spread rumors, and you will have trouble trying to refute them. Pay more attention to yourself, pay more attention to yourself, and ignore those rumors.
Rather than letting yourself worry about gains and losses in this so-called relationship and wasting your time explaining your pain and difficulties to the other person, it is better to move forward silently without saying a word.
What explanation can there be for those people who believe you and believe you are like this?
Many times, the fair judgments they think they make are subjective. They will easily label us because of someone else’s words or comments.
When facing such a person, don’t rush to explain. Just say to him: “If you are not blind, don’t know me from other people’s mouths.”
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