If your dog could write a Yelp review for your cooking, what do you think they would say?

4 min readMar 25, 2024

Have you ever wondered what your pup would say if they could write a Yelp review for your cooking?
“Five stars for the delicious treats that magically appear in my bowl every day.”
“My human’s cooking makes me do the happy tail wag dance every mealtime.”
“I especially love the homemade dog biscuits — they’re tail-waggingly good!”
“Every dish is prepared with love and always smells so drool-worthy.”
“Even the simple kibble tastes gourmet when it’s made by my human chef.”
“Sometimes I sneak a taste when they’re not looking, and it’s always positively amazing.”
“From breakfast to dinner, my human makes sure I’m always well-fed and satisfied.”
“Their meals are so good, I wish I could share the secret recipe with my furry friends.”
“I can’t resist begging for more whenever I see them entering the kitchen.”
“I hope they know I appreciate their efforts to keep my taste buds happy.”

If my dog could write a Yelp review for my cooking, I imagine it would go something like this:

“Two paws up for the human’s cooking! As a discerning canine food critic, I must say that the delectable aromas wafting from the kitchen never fail to set my tail wagging in anticipation.

While I may not fully comprehend the culinary artistry involved, I can attest to the sheer joy of devouring the scraps and morsels that find their way to the floor. Each bite is a flavor explosion, leaving me craving more of those savory meatballs or the occasional crispy, salty chips.

However, I must lodge a complaint about the lack of consistency in sharing these delicacies with me. Sometimes, the human is generous with the offerings, while other times, they jealously guard their plate, leaving me to resort to the tried-and-true puppy eyes technique.

Overall, I give the human’s cooking a resounding four out of five woofs. The only way to achieve perfection would be to serve…




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