Lower expectations and reduce internal friction

2bebetter
5 min readApr 28, 2024

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Internal friction refers to internal entanglements and entanglements, but it happens to form a kind of unnecessary consumption.

Internal friction is like two people fighting and noisy inside, and it is getting more and more intense and conflicting.

As a result, people live more and more tired, more and more painfully, and even more and more anxious and confused.

There is a question:

“What is the root cause of a person’s tired life?”

One of the answers said this:

“It’s not a problem of ability or appearance, but a failure to handle the relationship with myself.”

In the final analysis, what makes a person internally conflicted is not the problem itself, but the fact that you have too high expectations for yourself and even others.

As the saying goes, the greater the hope, the greater the disappointment. The more people want to improve their happiness, the more they need to reduce internal friction and lower their expectations.

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The higher your expectations, the more likely you are to be disappointed

I’ve heard this saying:

“When the expectation is 100, you will feel disappointed even if you get 99; when the expectation is 0, even if you get 1, you will feel like you have made a profit.”

Indeed, a person’s internal friction is probably due to the higher his expectations, but he will feel extremely annoyed and disappointed because the results are slightly different.

On the contrary, by lowering your expectations, you can gain and improve every day, and live your life with hope.

Obviously, the lower our expectations, the more likely we are to be satisfied. After we are satisfied, we are more willing to continue doing related things.

The reason why people can become stronger and stronger is because they can continuously improve a little bit in a kind of positive feedback, and finally they can move from quantitative change to qualitative change, and then become truly strong.

“Always keep low expectations for anything.

Have low expectations and persevere. If your expectations are too high, you will soon give up due to disappointment.

This is the reason why people who do not ask for anything in return always get the greatest reward. “

Therefore, only by lowering your expectations for everything can you avoid being on the edge of endless disappointment, let alone falling into internal friction for no reason.

Photo by Calvin Lupiya on Unsplash

Learn to accept and please yourself

Everyone needs encouragement, even a word or two of verbal praise may give others a good mood for the day.

If a person is in a good mood throughout the day, then no matter what he does, it will naturally have a more effective effect.

Therefore, learn to accept everything you encounter in life, whether it is good or bad, learn to accept it, and then please yourself.

In this way, unnecessary losses can be reduced and internal friction can be avoided as much as possible.

After all, if a person knows how to respect and love himself, he will not let himself fall into unnecessary self-torture and torment.

As Hawking mentioned:

“If you can keep your expectations to a minimum, you’ll be grateful for everything you have.”

Some people clearly can change the unsatisfactory status quo, but they spend their time complaining.

Some people can comfort themselves and encourage themselves to regroup, but they fall into internal friction and cannot extricate themselves.

In the end, the more I dare not face up to some things and the more I think about escaping, the more I will become more and more incompetent, and even more and more like myself who is trapped in a dilemma and feels self-pity.

There is this passage in the book “Anti-Internal Friction”:

“Knowing but not being able to do it, behind it is an endless self-battle.

When a person devotes all his physical and mental resources to fighting against himself, we are unable to cope with even the smallest challenge and make any meaningful change. “

When our thinking is restricted, our thoughts become prisoners, and the troubles in life annihilate our fighting spirit, then we can only sink deeper and deeper, and eventually we will not let ourselves go and bury ourselves in the endless internal friction.

Instead of devaluing yourself and hurting yourself by internalizing yourself, it is better to let yourself go and reflect on yourself in time.

Then, perfect yourself and achieve yourself.

Photo by Joshua Rawson-Harris on Unsplash

Stay away from internal friction and focus on life

When you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares into you.

Many times, if you are led by things and your attention is attracted by the outside world, you will slowly lose the initiative.

It’s like the more you constantly embarrass yourself and entangle others over a trivial matter, in the end it will only make each other miserable, and the gains outweigh the losses.

It is better to sort yourself out in time, stay away from internal friction, and focus on life. Don’t look at external things and interfere with your inner self, and don’t let unworthy things affect your mood and mood.

Therefore, when the world is uncertain, dare to go all out. And once the dust has settled, accept the results calmly and openly.

In this way, live your life, dare to be your true self, and dare to be yourself without regrets.

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2bebetter

"Exploring love & relationships. Providing advice, insights, and inspiration to inspire you to find & maintain healthy and fulfilling connections."