Marriage is not a necessity, taking care of one’s own life is the most important

2bebetter
6 min readMay 18, 2024

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It’s a cliché, the importance of female independence. I believe that in modern society, many people still think that marriage is the final destination. I do not deny this, but many people ignore one thing, that is, they cannot give up and forget themselves even after they have a destination.

Just because you have a wonderful marriage does not mean that you are a winner in life, but you are a winner in life if you know how to make yourself better and take better care of yourself in a marriage.

Photo by Manny Moreno on Unsplash

01. Marriage is not a necessity in life

My colleague Ximena is a “marriage maniac” and has been looking for a “good man” since graduating from college. He wants to find someone with a successful career and a good family background to marry. But things went against her wishes. After four or five years of searching, she was still single, and she could not find the person who was most suitable for her after comparing and comparing.

Colleagues all advised her not to be so demanding. For a girl who is nearly 32 years old, it is the wisest decision to marry as early as possible. In the end, Ximena could not resist the secular opinions, and under the arrangement of her parents, she found a man with a similar family background to get married...

She began to rely entirely on her husband and became independent. Finally, due to family reasons, she chose to resign and stay at home as a full-time housewife. She was busy every day and had already lost her dazzling face and proud figure.

As time goes by, her figure gets out of shape and her social interactions decrease. Ximena communicates less and less with her husband, and the gap becomes wider and wider. Every day, the family was filled with quarrels of all sizes, constant cold violence and the distress of the children pushed Ximena into a desperate situation.

Marriage is not a necessity, it is just an experience on the road of life. It is better to rely on yourself than to rely on anyone. The moment you give up your independent and self-reliant self, you must have the psychological preparation to welcome a self who looks unintelligent and cowardly.

Don’t give up on yourself because of marriage, forget that you were once a powerful woman in the workplace, and forget that you can also be a successful woman who can take good care of yourself on your own.

Taking good care of oneself is essentially understanding that the essence of life is a life of fulfilling oneself. In the process of growing up, women can easily have an attachment mentality. Saying goodbye to the attachment mentality is a very important theme in women’s growth. When a woman Only when you know how to take full responsibility for yourself will you not lose yourself in your marriage.

Not to mention forgetting the importance of being yourself in a marriage. Marriage is a part of life. Only when you know how to be your own master can you control the boat of marriage.

If you cannot be the master of your own life, then we can easily lose ourselves in marriage, and learning to live is of great significance to our lives.

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02. Learn to take care of yourself throughout your life

The scariest thing in life is not being alone and helpless, but that you forget how to take care of yourself. Love others first, love yourself first. Only if you know how to take good care of yourself, others will know how to take care of you, and you will not suffer so many grievances.

Don’t lose yourself easily in marriage, put yourself first. This is not selfishness, this is self-love. You have to know that everyone is busy running around in life and has no extra time to think about other things. Only you know what you want best. Only by taking good care of yourself can you have extra time and thought to take care of it. other people.

In other words, it’s a change of state of mind. The world is harmonious. When many people fall into emotions, they will take the other person as the criterion in advance, but ignore themselves in the end. Such emotions will only interfere with themselves, and over time they will become resentful.

I have heard this saying: “It is very painful to change others. It is better to spend time cultivating your imperfect self than to waste time expecting perfect others.”

Learning to take good care of yourself throughout your life is the beginning of happiness. No matter whether your marriage is good or bad, or whether your current situation is lucky or difficult, as long as you can calm down and take good care of yourself and make yourself excellent, you will find your own The state of mind changes, and all the previous difficulties and silence will eventually be resolved.

Taking good care of yourself throughout your life means seeing the richness of life instead of limiting yourself to a box. Growth in life requires many breakthroughs, and not living in a box is an important step for us to understand the abundance of life.

Everyone needs to understand that taking good care of one’s own life is, in essence, letting us know how to ride the wind and waves and manage our own life well. Only then can you encounter difficulties and walk on smooth ground, instead of being defeated by difficulties, let alone moving forward in fear of difficulties.

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03. Life is impermanent, learn to love yourself well

My mother once said this to me: “Don’t count on anyone. The only way out is to rely on yourself. The biggest truth my mother’s 20-year marriage taught me is to love yourself well and live for yourself. And You and I will both be the beneficiaries.”

I couldn’t understand this sentence when I was ignorant before. Now that I think about it, it makes sense. No one can be your help. Only your continuous efforts can become the dawn of life. When you are fragile, When you are small and can only count on others, you will not only worry about gains and losses but also do nothing. You can only place your hopes on others and imagine that you will succeed.

The probability of success is extremely low, and most of the time it is nonsense. Only when you learn to grow, become excellent, and work hard to be strong, can you take good care of yourself and be qualified to take care of yourself. People who want to protect themselves take better care of themselves.

Life will go through many variables, so if we learn to accept the impermanence of life and undergo the baptism of life, we will not be defeated by life, but know how to make peace with life, and naturally, our lives will have more surprises.

Life is impermanent, and no one will be by your side to accompany you for the rest of your life. The only thing you can do is learn to make yourself stronger, love yourself well, and not follow the crowd because of the vision and opinions restricted by the world.

What marriage teaches you is not to let go of your caution and heart, to accept gifts and laziness calmly, but to teach you how to become a better self in a new relationship and become another person in a new environment.

Dependence and laziness will become stumbling blocks to growth in life. Only by constantly working hard to improve yourself and learning how to take care of yourself will you have another state of mind and change yourself for the better. You must walk the road of life on your own. Opportunities in life must be grasped by oneself. The hope of life is tightly held in one’s own hands.

Photo by Erriko Boccia on Unsplash

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2bebetter

"Exploring love & relationships. Providing advice, insights, and inspiration to inspire you to find & maintain healthy and fulfilling connections."