People who “take the initiative” in love “don’t do it by being strong”, that’s just bluffing! There is a misunderstanding!
If you can take the initiative in a relationship, it means you are in control of the direction of the relationship.
You can be together when you want to be together, near when you want to be near, far when you want to be far, and you will be more dominant in the relationship.
The other person will also cooperate with you, please you, and give priority to your feelings and ideas.
But what does it mean to take the initiative? And under what circumstances does one party get the initiative?
It is easy to think that the stronger party has the initiative, but this is not always the case.
Many women are very aggressive and criticize their husbands and control them every day.
But in fact, it is precisely because they are unable to take the initiative that they keep criticizing each other when they feel unhappy.
Of course, some are more powerful and rich, so they are overbearing and use their power to suppress each other, which is not the scope of our discussion today.
That is not the scope of our discussion today. What we are going to discuss is a more positive way of taking the initiative, which is also the direction we should work on in our relationship, so that we will not fall into a passive situation where we are always being led by the other party.
What’s the real way to take the initiative?
I always say that when your value is high enough, your partner will naturally cater to you, and he will stick to you and never leave you.
If you have the qualities that he wants, and you can give him the feeling or substance that he needs, then he will value you very much, put you first, and listen to you in everything.
For example, a man who was never recognized as a child, and has been denied and ignored by his parents for a long time.
Then he meets a woman who appreciates him and supports him, and if the other party’s appearance is very good, it is the object of his dream for him, and he will cherish her.
The true meaning of taking the initiative is that the other person needs you very much, more than you need him to need you.
This is to rely on real strength (self-confidence, intelligence, financial strength, etc.) or emotional value, not by fierce and forceful, all day long commanding men to do things women, but it is just bluffing.
He simply does not want to do in his heart, are to make you happy only reluctant to cooperate, one day to meet a better, or you are old and yellow, he may leave you.
Even when they are still together, he is dissatisfied with you, secretly and with other women ambiguous, or deliberately to your account of things to screw up.
He will often say bad things about you behind your back, but behind your back is another face.
The strong woman, because of the ferocious used to men, developed a bad temper and eventually divorced also very difficult to remarry.
This is not a case of being in the driver’s seat, but a case of being at a disadvantage.
The real possession of the master is completely from the psychological grasp of the other side so that he can not leave you, very afraid of losing you, how dare he do anything? He can’t afford to pay this price.
As long as you are with you, he is very happy, and very at ease, your side feels very warm, because you feel more complete.
Or you can give him a lot of support in his work, so that his career can go up a level, or maybe he has some troubles to talk to you about, and they will be solved right away!
It is also possible that you have an excellent appearance, and just seeing you makes you feel very happy and like to be close to you.
It all depends on what your significant other needs. You have to rely on your observation, give him what he wants the most, and he will like you very much.
Some people want money, some people want love, and some people want freedom when you satisfy them,
your existence is like the sun, which has been lighting up his life, he will treat you as a goddess or white moonlight, and care about you very much, only in your eyes.
That’s why I always say that she wants to improve our value, because of this, the most likely trait to change is her emotional intelligence, which is too important.
In addition, it can also enhance your knowledge, make people feel that you are like a rich book, how to look at can’t read, every time to open can learn a lot, let a person can’t stop.
To enhance your appearance, make yourself more handsome or more beautiful, is also a kind of attraction, these things are the same for both men and women.
Unfortunately, many people don’t try to improve their disadvantages, but just complain that the other person doesn’t treat them well, which is putting the cart before the horse.
This is like many women who have driven away their husbands with their thoughts, making the men feel that they can’t go on with their lives and that they are very annoying and disgusting.
But women only think it’s the man’s fault! If you weren’t so bad, why would I keep thinking about you?
So relationship books always tell you to focus on yourself and love yourself first before anyone will love you.
If you can provide the other person with the qualities that he wants, he will naturally treat you well.
What you get in a relationship depends on how much you are valued.
A lot of men are attracted to the rich white girl because her father is rich, aren’t they? Who else would like to be treated like that?
The more positive value is the emotional value, as mentioned above, your personality is good enough to make people feel comfortable with you, and they will like you very much.
That’s why we often see that women who look ordinary but have gentle and graceful personalities are very popular with men.
Women who are very beautiful but have a condescending attitude are not as popular as those who are gentle, considerate, independent, and self-confident.
When you are very good, it is easy to take the initiative, even if you do not intentionally treat him well, he can be with you, it is very happy.
Many women pay a lot of money to their ambiguous partners and are very active, but in the end, the other party is indifferent, or even suddenly no longer looking for you, is because your value is not high enough.
He can do without you, but you can’t do without him, the degree of progress of the relationship, how to get along, it’s all up to him.
When you are in a relationship with an avoidant attachment, it is very easy for you to fall on the passive side, because he can do without anything.
Loves you very much, but just can not pull the face to beg you not to go, you want to share, and he will certainly let you go.
So you want to stay, you have to follow his rules to get along,
they would rather be separated from their true love, both sides of the world, but also do not want to bow down for you to change or retain you.
That’s why people say that if you meet an escapist, run away! Because this way of getting along is too bitter.
If you feel that you have lost control of your relationship, most of the reasons are that the other person doesn’t love you enough, doesn’t value you enough, or you are in an avoidant attachment,
then stop! Stop chasing him.
Even if you get him, you won’t be able to hold your head up and get along with him, and you won’t be respected and cherished.
You can first improve your value by going to him, or directly to another person, otherwise, you can hardly be happy with him, unless you do not care about his treatment.
The best relationship is a mutual need, no one can’t leave anyone, both value each other, and no one occupies a higher position, so the balance of the relationship is the longest!
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