It is often said that “a woman’s heart is like the bottom of the sea.” Many men feel that women’s emotions change too quickly and are hard to understand. Although women can have bad moods, they also have many moments of being pleased.
1. When refusing, it feels great.
Many women are afraid of rejecting others, feeling reluctant to do so because they don’t want to hurt them. However, once they take the first step, they will find that refusing someone is really satisfying! The more unreasonable the request that is refused, the more frustrated the other person will be, and the stronger the sense of satisfaction and excitement you will feel. Moreover, rejecting someone can be addictive. Refusing once is fun, and refusing constantly is even more enjoyable!
1.1. Rejecting unreasonable requests In a relationship
One of my friends and her boyfriend are college classmates. From graduation to work, their relationship has always been very good, and they are seen as a model couple by everyone. However, due to work reasons, they are about to face a long-distance relationship. The boyfriend suddenly had an idea and asked to take some sexy photos and videos so that he could see and think about her even if they are apart.
The girl is very clear-headed and firmly refused: “I don’t want to take photos. I think it’s shameful.” Unexpectedly, the boyfriend kept pressing her and even said that “not taking photos means she doesn’t love him.” Although she loved her boyfriend very much, Little Fish still chose to break up. She believes that we cannot overestimate our understanding of our boyfriend, nor underestimate the evil nature of human beings. Once she takes those photos, it’s like planting a “time bomb” for herself. If they break up in the future, and he becomes emotionally unstable, he might threaten or even share those pictures. The consequences would be unimaginable. Moreover, even if he is a good person, he cannot guarantee that his phone and computer will not leak data. Therefore, girls must protect themselves with a clear and firm mind. Do not let sweet words or soft-heartedness make you abandon your principles. Refuse him, refuse those unreasonable requests. This helps you to screen out partners who do not respect you, and you should feel lucky.
1.2. Refuse to be Defined
Many girls have been taught to believe that their success and happiness is defined by certain societal standards. For example, they are told to find a stable job, get married, and have children early. Girls are often discouraged from reading too many books, and are made to believe that their ultimate goal is to marry well. They are also made to believe that family should be their top priority, and that they are not naturally good at science. To make matters worse, they are often subjected to body shaming, such as being told they are too fat to find a husband.
Girls should not allow themselves to be defined by these standards. It is important to remember that everyone has the right to choose their own path in life, and their own value should not be defined by others. For instance, a famous dancer refused to have children in order to maintain her figure, but was ridiculed by others who believed that not having children is a failure for women. The dancer responded by saying that as long as she was living well and not harming others, it was okay.
Similarly, a former tennis star responded fiercely on Twitter to criticism about her decision to not have children: “I can choose to have children because I want to. I can choose not to have children because I have the right to be my own master.” Women should not be judged based on whether they are married or have children, but rather on their ability to choose for themselves and be true to who they are.
Refuse to be defined or labeled, and do not limit your own life. It is liberating to live life on your own terms. Most people in our lives have nothing to do with us, and we can afford to offend them. The one person we should never offend is ourselves. It feels really great to just refuse them directly!
2.1 Spending Time on Dressing Up
Audrey Hepburn once famously said, “Dressing well is a form of good manners.” During a particular event, when packing her luggage, she made sure to bring along makeup products such as lipstick and perfume. A reporter once asked her, “Aren’t you afraid of being labeled as shallow for spending so much time on your appearance?” Audrey’s response to such a rude question was nonchalant, “My daily life is like that of a beauty and fashion blogger.” Some people may say that she doesn’t look good without makeup, but she would bluntly state, “Not all girls look like fairies without makeup, but it doesn’t mean that you can’t be a fairy without makeup.” Loving beauty is not superficial. Making oneself “look beautiful” is an attitude of loving life. In reality, some people may think that women dress up to attract men’s attention. However, in truth, women dress up to make themselves happy. Girls who invest time and effort into their appearance become more elegant and confident, and as the saying goes, “the older they get, the more beautiful they become.”
2.2 live for yourself
In Singapore, there is a 71-year-old grandmother who fell in love with cosplay when she played it with her son when she was young, but she never had the time for it. After her son became independent, she was already 64 years old, but she still picked up this hobby. At first, her son didn’t understand, her husband scolded her every day, and even her friends ridiculed her as if she was doing something outrageous. But she didn’t care at all and even bought fabrics to make clothes by herself. She has always believed that this is her hobby and should not be given up. It is said: “You’re just doing what you like and living the life you like. If someone feels disgusted and ridicules you because of what you like to do, it’s their problem.” When this grandmother began to please herself and live for herself, she was already living a life that was so satisfying that she didn’t have time to care about those irrelevant people. Pleasing yourself is your own business. Living a high-quality life is also your own business. You don’t have to care about other people’s opinions, criticisms, or rumors.
3. Spending your own money is the most enjoyable thing.
As the saying goes, “Mountains may fall and people may leave, but you can always depend on yourself.” The best reliance for women is themselves. there is a girl who earns less than 1000 dollars per month but bought a designer handbag worth 5000 dollars. Her husband went to the media to complain, saying that his income is unstable and that the 5000 dollars could be used elsewhere. He also shouted at his wife: “I hope you don’t waste money like this again in the future. We can’t afford it.” Faced with her husband’s accusations, the girl felt very wronged. From dating to marriage, it has been eight years, and she has never asked him for a penny, and he has never given her a gift that costs more than… When faced with her husband’s accusations, the young woman felt deeply hurt. It has been eight long years since they started dating, and not once has she asked him for a single penny. He has never given her a gift that cost more than 700 yuan, even though they are now married. They didn’t even have a proper wedding ceremony when they got married, and they didn’t even have a wedding car to take them there. Now, she wants to treat herself to a nice handbag, but she’s worried that it might put a strain on their finances, given their mortgage and car loan payments. What really breaks her heart is her husband’s lack of care and the fact that he keeps a tally of everything. This was supposed to be a private matter that they could discuss behind closed doors, but he wants to publicly shame her.
In the end, she says, “I won’t buy luxury items like this again. I want our life to continue, and it’s not worth all this criticism and blame over a bag. I will still pay the mortgage, are you satisfied now?” However, the damage has been done, and there is now a rift between them. Luckily, she bought the bag with her own money, and she has the confidence to stand up for herself. Her husband’s accusations were only meant to keep her humble and frugal, to never desire material possessions. But if she couldn’t earn her own money and had to rely on her husband, she would only be criticized even more. Don’t ever believe a man who says “I’ll support you.”
It’s best to work hard and earn your own money, to live the life you want and make your own decisions. the debate was whether or not to keep in touch with exes for networking purposes. and the disagreeing side fiercely responded, “I am the network!” one of the models has maintained her financial independence after marriage and, in just six years, has become part of the “wealthy elite.” Having your own money means you don’t have to rely on monthly allowances or sacrifice your quality of life for someone else. Being an independent woman is truly empowering. With money in your hand, a smile on your face, and a sparkle in your eye, life may seem long, but it’s actually just over 20,000 days. Life is not easy, so instead of waiting for someone else to bring you happiness and healing, look inward and find your own path to happiness: Learn to please yourself and live for yourself.
As the writer said, “All your anxiety and anger come from mistreating yourself. If you don’t want to be immersed in the mundane world, then love yourself first. We have to be good enough to ourselves to stay elegant and graceful until old age.” From now on, for the rest of your life, love yourself deeply.
