I don’t know if you have ever had this experience:
Even though you have not offended the other person, you are always being ridiculed and humiliated for no reason;
Even though I have done my best, I am still being picked on by others;
Even though he was promoted based on his own abilities, he was still criticized behind his back.
Faced with other people’s unprovoked malice, we have also rushed to reason.
Both sides used sharp words and exchanged harsh words. As a result, instead of convincing each other, they became angry.
When I was young and full of energy, I only knew how to fight back by turning against me. As I grew older and matured, I suddenly realized:
Fighting evil with evil will only lead to greater evil.
The most skillful way to fight back against someone is to:
Don’t argue, ignore, and continue to improve yourself.
William McAdoo, the U.S. Treasury Secretary in the early 20th century, once said:
You cannot defeat ignorant people through debate.
You cannot defeat ignorant people through debate.
Indeed, a person’s ignorance is not formed in a short time. A temporary argument will not only not change his ignorance, but will also make us become people like him.
The best way to win is to not argue.
In ancient times, a businessman took a basket of tea into a tea shop for inspection. The clerk in the shop looked at it carefully and said:
“The leaves are thin and bright, like silver threads. It’s the best white tea.”
To convince the businessman, the clerk also took out samples from the store.
But the merchant never believed it and insisted that what he got was ordinary loose tea.
So the two of them started arguing in the store. The businessman became more and more agitated and even slandered the tea shop.
The two people’s movements attracted the attention of the tea shop shopkeeper. The businessman knew that the shopkeeper was an expert in the industry, so he pulled the shopkeeper into another discussion.
After the merchant finished speaking, the shopkeeper took a look at the tea leaves and said softly:
“You’re right, this is just ordinary loose tea.”
After saying this, the businessman laughed heartily and left the tea shop.
The guy asked in confusion:
“Why are you telling lies? That is obviously the best white tea, but he has blind eyes and cannot recognize Mount Tai.”
The shopkeeper replied:
Since you know he is a layman, why bother arguing with him? No matter how much you say, he won’t believe it. What’s the point of continuing to argue?
Since you know he is a layman, why bother arguing with him? No matter how much you say, he won’t believe it. What’s the point of continuing to argue?
This is what Carnegie once said:
“The only way to win in an argument is to avoid it.”
You try to convince the other person by arguing, but in the end, it’s just a waste of words.
Excessive “desire to argue” will not only prevent the other party from changing their minds but will also make us lose value invisibly.
A truly strong person never needs victory in verbal arguments to prove his strength.
The pure will be purified by themselves, and the strong will be strengthened by themselves.
The more powerful a person is, the more he knows how to retreat without fighting when he disagrees with others.
A momentary concession may seem like a loss of face, but in fact it is a gain in face.
I once read a very interesting metaphor: Arguing is sometimes like scratching an itch. The more you scratch it, the more it itches.
Therefore, the most effective way to relieve itching is: to ignore it.
The same goes for facing slander from boring people. The less you care, the more boring you will be.
The painter has great attainments in art, but he has an upright character and a hot temper.
Because of personal grudges, he repeatedly criticized Huang Yongyu in public places and also wrote various types of criticisms with fierce words.
He even compared another to a dog and painted it in his paintings.
Everyone around was watching the excitement, waiting for Huang Yongyu’s counterattack.
But never cared, as always, he was immersed in his own world and created with peace of mind.
As the saying goes:
When you care about other people’s opinions, the center of the world is elsewhere. When you focus on your own thoughts, the center of the world is you.
When you care about other people’s opinions, the center of the world is elsewhere. When you focus on your own thoughts, the center of the world is you.
Only by withdrawing attention from others can a person achieve real success.
There is a saying that goes well:
“Those who are willing will be tired, and those who are not willing will not care.”
If you care too much about other people’s opinions, you will only lose your way, not find the focus of life, and ultimately achieve nothing.
You know, most of the people who point fingers at you in life are people who don’t like you, so the more violent your reaction will be;
The happier they are, but the less you care, the more it highlights their small size.
It is better to live in your own heart than to be ruined in other people’s mouths.
You don’t have to listen to other people’s opinions all the time in life. Truly wise people know how to selectively turn a deaf ear.
I once saw a sentence on the Internet:
What really makes people tired is not the heavy work and trivial life, but internal friction.
What really makes people tired is not the heavy work and trivial life, but internal friction.
When someone else makes a casual comment, you hear it in your heart, and then think about it day and night;
It seems to have no real impact, but it invisibly consumes your energy and hinders your progress.
In the face of external voices, truly smart people understand that improving yourself is the most powerful counterattack.
On the road to growth, only by learning to get around the bad comments from others can you go a long way.
Data scientist Blank Woman was criticized many times by her colleagues when she first entered an Internet company.
Due to professional reasons, data engineers need to report their work to their superiors regularly, and colleagues around them are accustomed to using simple descriptions in text in summary reports;
But she has many years of working experience in foreign companies and is used to using PPT to report work.
Clear frameworks, processes, and pictures bring boring numbers to life;
Standing out among a pile of Word documents, the leader noticed this unique girl and gave her many opportunities to express herself.
But along with the opportunity came discussion from colleagues.
“They are so smart. They tell us they love technology and then use these tricks behind their backs to please the leaders.”
“Learn more from others, be smarter, and be able to please the leader is the serious thing.”
The ridicule from her colleagues made her very sad and fell into deep internal strife.
But she thought again and again and did not change herself to cater to her colleagues. She still chose to continue to make every reporting material well.
Hard work paid off, and her efforts eventually brought great luck.
During a work report to the CEO of the group, because of his clear logic and concise content, he was looked upon with special attention by the CEO and became the project leader. After the project was completed, he was given the opportunity for promotion and salary increase.
In fact, other people’s opinions are like a mountain. Only those who can climb over it may have the opportunity to open up the two channels of Ren and Du and rise to the top.
As Blank Woman said later:
I am very grateful to the person who gritted his teeth and could persevere no matter how criticized or misunderstood by others.
Precisely because I don’t care about other people’s opinions, I have lived my 30-year-old life into a happy article. “
I am very grateful to the person who gritted his teeth and could persevere no matter how criticized or misunderstood by others.
Precisely because I don’t care about other people’s opinions, I have lived my 30-year-old life into a happy article. “
Looking around, it is not difficult to find that truly capable people have only one way to deal with criticism, which is to focus on self-improvement.
We can’t change other people’s opinions, but we can improve ourselves.
When you stand on the top of the mountain, how can you care what the people at the bottom of the mountain are saying?
When you are strong, criticism from others is a stepping stone to your progress. When you achieve something, those comments will naturally disappear.
Once upon a time, a monk asked about his friend:
Is there anyone in the world who slanders me, bullies me, insults me, laughs at me, belittles me, despises me, hates me, or deceives me? How should I deal with it?
Is there anyone in the world who slanders me, bullies me, insults me, laughs at me, belittles me, despises me, hates me, or deceives me? How should I deal with it?
his friend said:
Just tolerate him, let him, let him go, avoid him, be patient with him, respect him, ignore him, and wait for a few years to see him.
Just tolerate him, let him, let him go, avoid him, be patient with him, respect him, ignore him, and wait for a few years to see him.
When faced with the malice of others, truly mature people know how to respond appropriately.
Stay away and don’t argue; ignore it and don’t care; keep working hard without internal friction.
You must know that right and wrong and malice are not only the knife that hurts you but also the boat that comes to ferry you.
In the face of them, there is no need to rush to argue, and there is no need to care. Turning the damage into motivation, continuing to improve, and reaching a height that they cannot match is the most effective counterattack.
If you found this post insightful, please share it with someone who might benefit from it. Thanks for your reading. Share your thoughts, and suggestions, and help shape a better experience. If you find it inspiring, share it with your friends give it a ‘clap’ and follow. Let’s build something great together — drop your comments below!
