The quality of your relationships depends on how you speak.
If you are capable, you must also know how to express yourself, in other words, you will be more lovable! Japanese experts teach you how to speak like this to be generous and trustworthy!
Many people mistakenly believe that the quality of interpersonal relationships depends on each other’s compatibility, position, age, and gender. But the biggest key difference is the way they speak.
There are two kinds of people in the world, the first is:
. There are many people making appointments
. Gentle and fun
. Don’t put pressure on people and always smile
. The second kind of person who can make others happy to do things for him
the second is:
. No one made an appointment
. He always shows anxiety and makes everyone around him run away
. I am always stressed and frowning
. Even if I ask others for help, no one will understand that
the difference between the two lies in the way they speak. Even if two people have the same appearance and social status, as long as they speak in different ways, their lives will take two different paths. Since we speak and express ourselves every day, we must choose a smart and lovable way of speaking. Japanese counseling psychologist Gotachi Gohyoda points out that chatting extremely disgusting method. If you want to have a good reputation, you must learn these chatting methods.
As soon as I got up, I started talking about myself.
Do you have such friends around you?
Friend: “I went to a barbecue last week.”
You: “Oh, barbecue! So, I haven’t been to a barbecue recently! It’s been two years!”
Friend: “…Ah, that’s right. Then, when grilling…”
You: “Ah, but preparing the barbecue is very troublesome! I still like to stay in the store and drink, it is more relaxed. By the way, now there is the kind of beer that you can drink on the rooftop. Garden…”
Friend: “…”
After reading the above conversation, what do you think?
Friends who take the initiative to bring up the topic of barbecue may want to talk about more details of barbecue. However, you reacted to the keyword barbecue without permission, and started saying to yourself, “I haven’t gone to barbecue recently” and “Preparation work is very hard.” In this way, your friends will not be happy, their favorability towards you will be reduced, and they may even not want to chat with you anymore.
If you only say what you want to say, you will be disliked. Some people in meetings will listen to someone speak and think to themselves: “After he finishes speaking, I want to give my opinion!” “Ah, I have thought of what to say!” “Why don’t you hurry up and take my turn…” There is People with similar reactions may appear to be listening to what others are saying at first glance, but they are not listening at all. Once the other person stops speaking, they start talking about what they want to say without continuing from the previous topic.
The tips for attracting a romantic partner
Everyone only wants to say what they want to say. At this time, if you are a listener, you can stand out from the crowd. If you’re not good at listening, start by pretending to listen, even if you just nod silently.
“Listen well to the opposite sex when they are around you, and you will naturally become popular.”
Listening to the other person’s words will make the other person feel that you are easy to talk to, very get-together with, and even find you interesting. Please show your willingness to listen.
POINT Just listen and you will become a heartthrob.
Suppose someone wants to resign today and come to me to discuss career plans. The most common way most people talk is “Why do you want to resign? What do you want to do after resigning?” But this is not psychological counseling. The ideal answer is “So you want to resign.” First, repeat what the other person said and seek empathy.
It’s a common problem for people to be tempted to advise others, probably because they feel they must do something for the other person. He likes to say “I understand, I understand because I…” and then accidentally starts talking about his topic. It’s important to keep your ego under control when speaking back.
Lately, I’ve been getting a lot of mileage out of the way I speak. The other day, my wife worried about shoes to wear before going out. I thought to myself: “You’d better go out quickly, you’re going to be late!” I wanted to say “I can wear any pair of shoes” sincerely.
But if you say this, there will be a quarrel. Seeing that I was going to be late, I immediately said:
“(serious tone) Well… which pair is better… black or brown are both good. You can try wearing black again!”
The key point is to treat the other person’s affairs as your own.
Even if you want to give her the suggestion “black shoes are more suitable”, you have to hold back. Finally, my wife went out successfully. In this situation, a layman will say “Both pairs are good”; a somewhat powerful person will suggest “The black one is better”, but the really powerful ones will help the other party to think carefully and help the other party make a decision.
Asking questions immediately and interrupting the other person are equally annoying.
As mentioned earlier, the attitude of listening is very important. On the other hand, people who are asking questions can be tiring. When the other party says, “I feel like my husband is having an affair,” he immediately asks, “When did you start feeling weird?”; the other party replies, “A while ago, maybe.” Then he immediately asks, “Who is the person you’re having an affair with?” “Who?”; the other person said, “It seems to be a female colleague from the company.” Then he asked, “How old is the other person?” It‘s really easy to get annoyed by interrupting the other person’s conversation with endless questions like this.
People who have this habit may feel that asking questions frequently means they are paying attention to what the other person is saying. In the process of getting closer to someone, it is important to ask questions appropriately, but the prerequisite is to listen to what the other person says. For example:
“My hobby is surfing.”
“Where do you surf?”
“They are all on the coast near here.”
“With whom?”
“My friend in high school is good at surfing, and I invite him to surf.” Teach me.”
“Has your friend been surfing before?”
This is just asking and answering questions, not a conversation. When I was young, a female friend told me that talking to me felt like being interrogated. There is a simple way to make questions sound natural.
What people need is not “ask”, but “listen”
“My hobby is surfing.”
“Surfing? Not bad!”
“Recently, my high school friend invited me to join him, so I started playing. He has been surfing for more than ten years, and his skills are so good that he often participates in competitions!”
Like this, naturally going deep into the topic is a pleasing way of communication. Remember to follow the other person’s speaking pace and listen attentively. If you want to ask a question, you need to ask for the other person’s permission before speaking to make a good impression on the other person.
In addition, there is a little trick, which is to repeat the end of the other party’s words, and the tone should be raised. “My hobby is surfing.” “Surfing?” “Yes, I surf around Chiba.” The conversation can flow smoothly.
Use speaking skills that don’t sound like asking questions to make the other person put down their guard, which means you have succeeded. The conversation will continue if the other person continues speaking at their own pace.
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