There are 5 situations when you cannot “Get in”. Experts will teach you how to solve it.

2bebetter
6 min readJul 9, 2024

--

[Fan submission] Before their marriage, Frank and Mandy were a sweet couple in the eyes of many people, but their married life was not as sweet as outsiders saw. Every time they were intimate, Frank encountered an embarrassing problem: “I can’t get in.” He tried many times but failed. This became a knot in their lives and a sensitive topic in their relationship.

Photo by Jonathan Borba on Unsplash

Every time he failed, Frank felt guilty and depressed. He began to feel that he was not worthy of Mandy, and was afraid that she would leave him because of this, so he gradually avoided interacting with her. During this period, Mandy’s ex-boyfriend Zack came back to find her. He also knew about this and half-jokingly said: “Such a problem may require another man to solve it.” This sentence made Frank even more anxious.

But in fact, Mandy knew that the problem was not entirely with Frank. She was very nervous every time. She decided to seek help from a professional psychologist. From psychologists, learned that there are five situations where “insertion is impossible”. The most common one is the contraction of the private parts due to the psychological tension of the woman, which is also called a “private parts spasm”.

psychologist told Mandy: “This is mainly because of your tension and worry in your married life. You need to learn to relax and communicate more with your partner.” After psychological counseling and adjustment, Mandy learned how to relax and communicate with Frank, and cut off contact with her ex-boyfriend. In the following life, the relationship between the two has been greatly improved, and the sweetness of marriage has been regained.

Reproductive health is a topic that every adult should be concerned about. Many couples encounter the problem of “not being able to get in” during intimacy. For women, this situation may be accompanied by friction and discomfort. What are the reasons for this situation and how to solve it?

Photo by Aral Tasher on Unsplash

1. Muscle spasm (spasm in private parts) — the most common condition

When it comes to problems with penetration, vaginal spasms are the most common cause. This is a condition where a woman’s vaginal muscles involuntarily contract when she attempts to engage in sexual activity, causing difficulty with penetration or discomfort during friction.

Solution:

Relax: Many times, cramps in the private area are caused by emotional tension, worry or fear. Women should find a relaxing environment and a suitable partner to make sure they are relaxed before engaging in sexual activity.

Adequate foreplay: Make sure there is adequate foreplay to ensure adequate lubrication and relaxation.

Use lube: If natural lubrication isn’t enough, try using lube to reduce friction and discomfort.

Psychological counseling: If this problem persists for a long time, you may consider seeking psychological counseling or sex therapy.

Photo by Vladislav Muslakov on Unsplash

2. Shrinkage of private parts

As you age or undergo certain hormonal changes, such as menopause or after childbirth, a woman’s private parts may become drier and narrower, causing friction and discomfort during sex.

Solution:

Hormone replacement therapy (HRT): The right amount of estrogen can help regenerate private area cells, increase the thickness and elasticity of the private area walls, and increase lubrication, thereby alleviating dryness and discomfort. However, HRT is not suitable for everyone and may have some side effects.

Have sex regularly: Although it may sound surprising, regular sex can help keep your private parts healthy, elastic, and lubricated. Sexual activity can increase blood circulation in your private parts, promote the growth of new cells, and improve their elasticity. In addition, sex hormones are released during sex, which also helps improve the environment of your private parts.

Lubricants and moisturizers: These products can be applied directly to the private area to relieve dryness and friction. They are very effective at providing temporary lubrication, especially before and during sex.

Diet and lifestyle: Increasing your intake of water and healthy fats, such as omega-3 fatty acids, can help increase lubrication in the body. Avoiding smoking and limiting alcohol intake can also help maintain a healthy private area.

Regular medical check-ups: Regular gynecological check-ups can detect and address any possible problems in time and also help in discussing with your doctor and getting professional advice.

Photo by Zohre Nemati on Unsplash

3. Infection of private parts

Infections in the private parts, such as yeast infections, can lead to inflammation of the private parts. Symptoms include itching, pain, and redness, which can cause discomfort during sexual activity.

Solution:

Seek medical attention promptly: It is most important that you seek medical attention immediately if you suspect you have a private area infection. Your doctor will perform the necessary tests, determine the type of infection, and provide appropriate treatment recommendations.

Avoid over-cleaning: Over-cleaning your private area can upset its natural pH balance, making infections more likely to set in. Use gentle, fragrance-free cleansing products and avoid frequent baths.

Wear loose-fitting cotton underwear: This can help keep your private area dry, which reduces the risk of mold overgrowth.

Avoid using perfume and other irritating products: Certain products can irritate your private area and increase the risk of infection.

Complete treatment: Even if symptoms disappear, it is important to complete the full treatment cycle as recommended by your doctor to ensure the infection is completely cleared.

Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

4. Physiological structure issues

For example, physiological structural abnormalities such as uterine inversion and private septum may also lead to difficulties in sexual intercourse.

Solution:

Timely identification: Many women may not realize that they have these structural problems in their lives, so it is very necessary to have a timely physical examination when sexual difficulties occur.

Medical examination: If you have any doubts, you should immediately make an appointment with a specialist to undergo gynecological ultrasound or other relevant examinations to confirm the problem.

Individualized treatment: Depending on the specific situation and the severity of your symptoms, your doctor may recommend medication, physical therapy, or surgical correction.

Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

5. Psychological factors

Past sexual trauma or certain psychological repressions may also lead to difficulties and discomfort during sexual activity.

Solution:

Recognize the problem: Acknowledging that you may have a psychological problem is the first step to solving it. Some people may deny their emotions and experiences for a long time.

Psychological counseling: Seek counseling from an experienced psychologist or sex therapist who can provide professional guidance to help individuals understand and deal with their emotions.

Group therapy: Sharing your experiences and feelings with others who have similar experiences can help relieve emotions and better heal the trauma of the mind.

Daily relaxation: Relaxation techniques such as meditation, yoga, and deep breathing can help reduce anxiety and inhibitions, thereby enhancing the experience of sexual intercourse.

Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

When facing the problem of “not getting in”, every couple should cooperate with understanding and patience, find the cause of the problem, and seek solutions. Most importantly, seek help from professional doctors in time to ensure the quality and health of the couple’s life.

If you found this post insightful, please share it with someone who might benefit. Thanks for your reading. Share your thoughts, and suggestions, and help shape a better experience. If you find it inspiring, share it with your friends give it a ‘clap’ and follow. Let’s build something great together — drop your comments below!

--

--

2bebetter

"Exploring love & relationships. Providing advice, insights, and inspiration to inspire you to find & maintain healthy and fulfilling connections."