Don’t get too involved in the relationship when you are ambiguous.
As long as the relationship is not confirmed, they are “just friends”!
There are unspoken rules in love. People who don’t understand will be frustrated again and again and always feel that the relationship is not smooth.
Following these rules is the way to protect yourself.
It’s easy to just give in stupidly without thinking too much, but the final result may not be what you want.
Let’s take a look at the unspoken rules in love. Do you understand every one of them? If you don’t understand, learn it quickly!
1. Don’t get too involved when you are ambiguous
I was getting close to this guy I really liked, but we hadn’t defined the relationship yet. I wanted so badly for him to be my boyfriend. One day, he told me he met someone else and didn’t think we should hang out anymore. I was crushed but realized I shouldn’t have let myself get so emotionally invested when we were still ambiguous.
Since it is said to be ambiguous, it means that you are not together yet. As long as the two parties have not confessed to each other and established a relationship, you are just ordinary friends.
One day he comes to tell you that he has a girlfriend and tells you not to come to him again. You can’t say anything to him.
So during this period, it is the stage of observing each other. Don’t think of yourself as your girlfriend, or think that you are already together. In the end, if he doesn’t want you, you will be very embarrassed.
If a man really likes you, he will be eager to confirm the relationship so that he can get along with you like a lover. If he doesn’t, you don’t have to think too much.
No matter how pleasant your chat is, he may just be able to chat with you, and you are not someone he wants to actively strive for.
2. Love someone who is inherently good, not good to you
I used to go for guys who would dote on me and treat me like a princess. But over time, I realized they were just doing it to get with me, not because they were actually that thoughtful. Now I look for men who are good people in general — who treat everyone with kindness and respect. Those are the keepers.
Many women are moved by a considerate and gentle man because no one has ever been so kind to her.
But have you ever thought about why he is so special? It’s not because you are very good, only he knows how to appreciate you.
It’s that he has conditions that are not as good as yours, but he wants to be with you, so he uses these efforts to increase his conditions.
But the silly woman always thinks that he loves her very much, and no one will love her more than him! So I am willing to accept anything.
This is not normal. If you can’t keep giving him benefits or attracting him, he will probably stop giving, and you will be very surprised at that time.
If a person is only good to you and bad to everyone else, you shouldn’t be with him. What you should be looking for is someone who is inherently good.
He knows how to respect others and will consider others. He may not make any extraordinary sacrifices, such as writing you a letter every day, sticking to you 24 hours a day, saying many exaggerated love words to you, etc.
But this is the real good, and it will not change easily. The real good is often dull, but that is the real thing.
3. Only love people who appreciate you.
In the past, I dated guys who didn’t make me feel appreciated. They could take me or leave me. Now, I only want to be with someone who makes me feel cherished. I deserve to be with someone who thinks I’m amazing.
Love the person who appreciates you very much and treats you like a goddess, rather than the person who doesn’t take you seriously, is arrogant towards you, and looks down on you.
Such a person may reluctantly accept you when there is no better choice, and the treatment you will receive is that he will never consider you.
He feels that being with you is a favor, so how can he think about you?
He will naturally spend your money, ask you to do housework, and ask you to pay, instead of respecting you and caring about your feelings and interests.
If you find that the person you like doesn’t agree with you at all, then stop admiring him, otherwise you are digging a hole for yourself.
4. Don’t talk to him during the ambiguous period.
When I’m not officially dating someone, I avoid having deep or romantic talks with them. I don’t want to create false expectations or get attached too soon. It protects my heart until I know for sure they want a relationship.
Since you are not boyfriend and girlfriend, don’t talk about those conversations that are exclusive to lovers. Otherwise, one day he decides that he doesn’t want you anymore and will put all the responsibility on you.
He will tell you that you have been chasing him, and he doesn’t want to be with you, but you have been pestering him.
He enjoyed the sweetness and happiness of being a boyfriend, but in the end, he bit you back and said what you should say regardless of the relationship.
5. Don’t chat with people you don’t like.
There was a guy I chatted with out of boredom and loneliness. Over time, I developed feelings, but he just saw me as someone to pass time with. I learned my lesson — don’t give my attention to people I’m not actually interested in dating.
Don’t just chat with people you don’t like just because you’re bored. Relationships come out of chatting.
You may slowly fall in love with him, but men are not that emotional. He may have no feelings for you and only comes to chat with you when he is bored.
In the end, it turns out that you have an unrequited love for him, which is like a joke.
Of course, some boys are very love-minded, but they are in the minority.
If you can’t be emotional, you can talk about anything, otherwise, just talk to the person you really want to develop!
6. Don’t rush to give until you are sure of the relationship.
I used to shower guys I liked with gifts and acts of service too soon. But now I wait until we’re committed before going above and beyond. I don’t want to be used or taken for granted.
Some people are very scheming. To take advantage of you, they will pretend to like you and make you pay for them.
If you haven’t confirmed the relationship, don’t rush to pay.
Talking nice and chatting with you is not called love. You are just ordinary friends, so treat him like ordinary friends.
7. A man who really likes you will be more proactive than you.
In the past, I chased men who weren’t that into me. Now I look for guys who pursue me, who make an effort to spend time together. I want to be with someone who is as crazy about me as I am about them.
A man who is truly attracted to you will most likely be more proactive than you and won’t need you to work so hard to chase him.
He will work hard to create opportunities to get along with you, think of many reasons to ask you to meet, and treat you with enthusiasm.
He will keep looking for you instead of just ignoring you for several days. He will ignore you even if you look for him.
If there is no special reason, a person will not treat someone he likes like this, so stop lying to yourself.
If he is not proactive, don’t think too much about it. Of course, you can also be a proactive person. There is still a chance of success, but it is not big.
If you want to find someone, find someone who takes the initiative to love you. It means that he recognizes your value and is deeply attracted to you. This kind of relationship will go more smoothly.
Unless you find that the other person is a timid otaku, then take the initiative!
But I have also been chased by a tech geek. He has never been in a relationship and has a very introverted and quiet personality. But when he chased me, he was also very proactive and said good morning and good night to me every day. He just didn’t know how to please people and talk about love.
8. Don’t be a princess
When I was younger, I acted childish and pouty in relationships. I thought it was cute, but it actually pushed guys away. Now I know men want an equal partner, not someone who throws tantrums when they don’t get their way.
Many girls have the misconception that they really want to be a child. When you get along with him, you can be innocent like a child and enjoy a happy time.
But that doesn’t mean you are like a child who cries and screams when you are unhappy. You have to have others do everything for you. If you don’t do it, you will fall out.
No one will like you like this, and no one will think you are cute.
If he tells you that you are cute like this, he is probably lying to you.
Because you are no longer a child, you will always want to be a child. It is probably because you were not a child enough when you were young, and your parents did not love you properly, so make up for your love first!
9. Don’t be his mother
I used to mother the men I dated — cooking, cleaning, planning everything. But it didn’t make them love me more. I’ve realized guys want a girlfriend, not a mom. I focus on being a supportive partner, not a caretaker.
Women like to be taken care of, so once they like someone, they want to take care of them, but this is not the love that men want.
What he wants is adoration and a sense of security. He needs to know clearly that you think he is good and will love him loyally. In addition, he approves of your conditions, so that he will like you very much.
Men don’t need the care and attention you give them.
If you always take the initiative to do these things, he will naturally enjoy your efforts, but in fact, he has no feelings in his heart and his gratitude is very weak.
It’s not that they don’t need to pay at all, it’s just that giving won’t add points to you, it will only make him think you are useful.
Except for men with good character, they know how to be grateful, but they will repay you instead of just enjoying your efforts.
10. People who will give up others for you will also give up you for others.
I’ve learned that if someone is willing to leave one person for you, they’ll likely do the same to you. I don’t want to be with someone who jumps ship so easily. I look for loyalty and commitment.
Because in his concept, if you choose the wrong person, you will have to change him, so when he feels that you are wrong and a better person comes along, he will change you.
If no one can replace your goodness, then maybe the other person’s chances of being loyal will be higher.
This article is more suitable for women, but now there are many women with masculine styles, and their views on love are also very free and easy, so it may also be suitable for some men.
Women should not overthink things in love. The attitude you don’t see is that you don’t have it. If he loves you and can’t wait to be with you, you will naturally see it.
Never actively pester a man who doesn’t love you. You should find someone who cherishes you.
I have seen too many women become the targets of handsome men. They complain a lot after marriage and are often asked to pay for money and labor without considering her at all.
One of the fat girls married a very handsome man with a very bad personality.
She only saved 1 million before marriage. Her husband wanted her to be a housewife after marriage, and he often didn’t want to give her money. When she went out to parties with friends, she always said she was poor.
When buying a house, the man asked her to spend all 1 million, completely ignoring her penniless plight and thinking he was giving her preferential treatment.
The woman complains about her husband whenever she sees someone, her birthday is ignored, and her husband doesn’t interact with her.
She also knew in her heart that her husband liked a very beautiful woman before marriage, but she didn’t want him, so he reluctantly chose her.
Many people like handsome guys, but if that handsome guy doesn’t love you, what use do you have to him? I also worry that he will have an affair.
In the pursuit stage, if the man is not active and keeps asking you out temporarily, hot and cold, and then disappears after meeting you, then give up on him!
Don’t become a dispensable option for others, they won’t cherish you.
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