“What am I afraid of?”
Psychologist: In the face of unknown fear, 5 points to think about to eliminate anxiety
Your help can make a difference for others.
When the people around us are in trouble, suffering from stress, fear, anxiety, and depression… As companions, what actions can we take to make the other person feel better? The simplest help I can provide is to “have a chat with him.” A healing dialogue can help those close to relieve anxiety, release stress, and face fears, while also promoting the other person’s self-awareness and re-establishing self-confidence. The power we can have in helping others cannot be underestimated, and as long as you are willing, you can also make a difference in the people you love.
Imagine the worst outcome
When we think about something scary, we tend to quickly think about something that will make us happier. Once this happens, the catastrophizing thought that brought the anxiety to its peak is not dealt with but is simply diverted elsewhere.
We still have a picture of disaster in our heads, such as a tragic accident, unpaid bills, a broken marriage, etc. It will stubbornly linger in the bottom of our consciousness, threatening to come out at any time.
Try to stay with these catastrophizing thoughts without running away, and then imagine to the end of the disaster, which will bring a sense of relief.
Guide the other person toward the anxiety through questions like, “What are you most afraid of right now?” In the best case, if you get close enough to the anxiety, it will disappear.
Case study
Bob: “Our company is going to have a wave of layoffs next month, and I’m so afraid of being laid off.”
Facilitator: “If you really get laid off, what’s the worst that could happen?”
Bob: “I might start to lose touch with society.”
Facilitator: “Where did this imagination come from?”
Bob: “If I can’t find another job, I will have to live on welfare in two years, and I will definitely not be able to keep my house. Under such circumstances, I don’t know if my marriage can still be maintained.”
Facilitator: “Suppose you really have to live on welfare and lose your house and wife. What happens next? What will happen to you?”
Bob: “I’d probably be in a shelter with other homeless people.”
Facilitator: “How long do you think that kind of life is likely to last?”
Bob: “I suddenly had another idea. If I didn’t have a house or a wife, my life would be unrestricted. I’ve always wanted to experience different cultures. Maybe I can become a volunteer.” (Boll sat. He straightens his body and his eyes light up.)
Facilitator: “So what good things are likely to happen after being laid off?”
Bob: “I still hope that I won’t be laid off or that I can find another job if necessary. But even the worst outcome seems to bring new possibilities.”
When helping others imagine worst-case scenarios, I usually have the following questions in mind:
◆When you think about the worst-case scenario, what is the worst-case scenario?
◆How long is this situation likely to last?
◆What will you do at this time?
◆Will you survive this?
◆If the worst happens, can you see that something good might happen?
I use these questions in my own life as well. When I fear another panic attack, I know through these questions that the worst that can happen is to pass out. This is out of my control and no one will blame me for it. For example, if I pass out in the middle of a speech, when I wake up I should find myself surrounded by worried people who want to help me.
Before you start exploring the worst-case scenarios, it’s important to let the other person know that by exploring these imaginary horrific endings, you can help him find a way out. Let him know what the benefits are and he’ll be more willing to answer those uncomfortable questions.
It’s also important to determine if the other person wants it and feels ready to do it. After all, the process is usually not pleasant, but there is an opportunity to find peace in it.
Of course, you must also make the person you want to help feel comfortable saying no. For example, say to him: “We don’t necessarily need to do this right away. You can come to me when you want to do it. We can also think of other ways. Deal with this problem.”
“Helping Through Conversation: Specific advice, ideas, and instructions”, author: Elise. Ilse Sand
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