What should I do if my ex cruelly breaks up with me and doesn’t want to contact me anymore?
Almost everyone who has tried to get back together with their ex has been rejected, and some have even been rejected more cruelly by the other party.
You can’t understand. You just want to see him once, give him a gift to express your friendship, or expect to have a serious talk with him, but no matter whether you wait until late at night or shed tears, his heart is like a cold stone. No matter what you do, you can’t warm it up and will only reject you coldly.
I have a deep understanding of this feeling. After a breakup, no matter how you explain, apologize, beg, or pester the other person, or give them gifts, these actions always seem to be wrong and are all useless. The other person just remains unmoved.
In fact, through my years of experience, I have found that these situations do not depend on whether the other party is hard-hearted. It is just because you lack planning in your recovery and choose the wrong time, which triggers the other party’s rejection psychology.
01. The primary problem: The other party has a problem of rejection.
Everyone likes to find excuses to cover up their behavior to appease their inner feelings.
Even if the ex knows in his heart that breaking up is a mistake, he still has to find some reasons to prove that breaking up is right for the sake of face and self-esteem.
If this is not the case, then do we ask him to tell himself that he does not understand your thoughts, does not know how to manage relationships, and does not have enough ability to make his ex face these facts? This is simply not in line with human nature.
Therefore, when you fail to grasp the opportunity and choose to take the initiative to show your affection, he will feel uneasy and will not know how to respond to your performance.
Sometimes, he may even feel that you have disturbed the tranquility he has just gained, triggering the impulse he wants to avoid even more. As a result, he will begin to reject you and not want to accept any of your kindness and contact.
When you understand this, you can sort out the clues for recovery, which is: “Help your ex realize that he had a wrong understanding of emotional management in the past, and magnify his regret for breaking up.”
As long as the other party realizes that breaking up was a wrong decision, regrets it, and wants to redeem the relationship and get back together, there is no need for you to be shameless.
So, what should you do after breaking up to help him realize his mistakes and at the same time amplify his regrets?
02. The second point: How to eliminate the other party’s rejection of psychology
Few people can truly break up peacefully. There are frequent begging and entanglement, large-scale quarrels and conflicts, or deleting and blocking each other so that in the end there is no intersection between each other.
When you calm down, you realize that you still love the other person deeply. When you want to save the relationship, you find that the other person is extremely repulsive to you, and even deliberately says hurtful words, which makes you heartbroken. What’s even more heartless is that the other person ignores your existence, as if you are just air.
You may be feeling very stressed out right now as if all the problems you face are unsolvable.
You only need to strictly follow the following two steps to resolve the other party’s rejection and actively restore contact with you.
PART 1 Step 1: Retreat to advance
When you and your ex are in a state of confrontation, your relationship is like one person chasing and the other running away. If you try to save the relationship at this time, it is like coaxing a child. The more you try to coax him, the harder he cries.
Therefore, you need to reduce the frequency of contact and give him enough time and space to reflect on himself and gain peace.
Only when you stop pushing him can his tense nerves relax, and you can also reduce your consumption so that you have more energy and time to improve yourself. He will give you enough time to reflect, and then slowly let go of his vigilance against you.
PART2 Step 2: Subvert the image
People are always curious about new, unknown, and changing things.
When you reduce contact and stop chasing, you are making a change. Your partner will stop and think about why you are no longer pestering them. These changes can re-engage their attention and make them notice the change in you.
However, to subvert the image, we must avoid the following minefields:
Some people try to hide their sadness or avoid facing the fact of heartbreak after a breakup. Therefore, I ask my friends out to enjoy life, or loudly proclaim how happy I am after the breakup. I try to show that I don’t have any sad expressions, but the fact is that this will only make my ex feel that I have never truly loved him.
Because of the breakup, it is normal to feel sad. If you suppress yourself blindly or deliberately release smoke bombs, it will often backfire.
You can be quiet for a while and make good use of this time to adjust yourself and strengthen your studies. You can learn some ways to get along with others and communicate with them internally, and you can change your appearance and develop a new interest externally.
When you can reshape yourself in appearance and temperament and arm yourself with knowledge and abilities, you will naturally be able to achieve a dimensionality reduction attack on him.
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